RED CANUCK

Regret to inform...

2009-10-13T13:45:00.000-07:00

I am posting to inform you that Red Canuck passed away on October 13, 2009, in Vancouver. He had added me as a contributor to his blog as he started his terminal decline so that I may communicate with his readers after his death. He died peacefully, surrounded by his family.

In addition to being an excellent physician, and an excellent man, he was my big brother and best friend. Navigating through life without his wisdom and expert counsel is an inconceivable task, but one which I now have to face. He once told me how fascinated he was by the nature of the online community. Although he knew many of you only through cyberspace, he gained a sense of some of your personalities and was deeply touched by the comments left on his last post.

RC blogged anonymously because he felt it would be unprofessional for his patients to be made aware of his political opinions and observations. Although that is obviously no longer a consideration, I will respect his view and not write his name here. As many who follow this blog know his identity, I would still like to mention his request that you not send flowers. He preferred that in lieu of flowers, well wishers consider contributing to cancer research.

RC's blog showcased his belief in progress through humanism, rational thinking, and the scientific method. Perhaps one day science will offer us a world in which even the most aggressive cancers cannot deprive us of such a sharp wit and keen intellect. Red Canuck, you enriched the lives of all who knew you. Rest in Peace.

Good Night, And Good Luck

2009-04-25T13:47:00.000-07:00

Some of you who have followed this humble blog since its inception may have known that I was lucky enough to have survived a run-in with cancer a few years ago. Although I won that little battle back then, it appears I have lost the war. Cancer is a rather merciless predator, and despite the best efforts of a wonderful group of colleagues, it has returned. This time, I am told, it is terminal.

It has been a wonderful trip, filled with joyous memories, painful tears, and the brilliant heartache that comes from a life of boundless experience. I have lived only 35 years, but I have lived them well. And so I have no regrets, but that I couldn't longer and better know the girl I love - my miss giraffe.

To friends and foes in this odd little "blog world", I wish you nothing but success and good health. And I remind you that, despite whatever small differences we might have, we are all sailors on this same raft.

Good night, and good luck.

UPDATE: Thank you so much to all who have written such kind words in the comments and on their blogs. It reaffirms my faith in humanity that such generosity of spirit can be found amongst people who have never even met each other. Your thoughts and prayers have touched me deeply and are much appreciated. I would be remiss if I did not give a special thank you to my colleagues and to the hematology/oncology staff who have worked tirelessly on my behalf. Finally, please drop by the Canadian Cancer Society webpage and donate if you can. Research today is the cure of tomorrow. And, even more importantly, please consider adding your name to the Bone Marrow Donor Registry...it costs nothing, and you could quite literally give someone the gift of life.

Keep Smiling!

A Few Tears Ago...

2009-04-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

Well, Dr Roy is at it again. The man whose blog is a full-time shrine to Oberbefehlsleiter Harper is concerned that Jon Stewart is a little too partisan. And he takes care to let us know that he doesn't find Stewart all that funny. Shocking, that. Presumably, he prefers the comedy stylings of washed-up 80's SNL reject Dennis Miller. If you're reading, Roy, here are a few observations:

It's Breitbart, dude, not "Breibart". If you're going to cite a source, no matter how rancid, do them the courtesy of spelling their name correctly.
"That holly wood is very liberal is no surprise". Hollywood, the town, is a single word that starts with a capital H. Holly Wood is a porn star. She may well be liberal, but I really wouldn't know.
"It's hilarious that stewart said he wanted more civility in public discourse , when his show is just an obamessiah worshipping anti GOP commercial." OK, Roy. Let me explain this to you. Stewart is a comedian. He doesn't claim to be a political pundit, and he regularly refers to TDS as a "fake news show". It's his job to be irreverent. So there is no hypocrisy or contradiction for him to suggest that those people who claim to be pundits, demonstrate some civility rather than just yelling talking points at each other. Secondly, I doubt you have any problems with execrable hacks like Hannity, Limbaugh, and O'Reilly running hyper-partisan GOP-worshipping, anti-Democrat commercials, do you? And lastly, Stewart pokes fun at idiots on both sides of the political spectrum. It's not his fault that most idiots gravitate to the GOP.
Read my lips: "S-P-E-L-L-C-H-E-C-K-E-R". That is all.

The Base Is Not Amused

2009-04-06T17:14:00.000-07:00

Wingnut.

Gunnutz.

Oh my. What will happen when the Gunnut Base loses patience with the Wingnut Government? Grab some popcorn and find out!

Limbaugh: Gordon Brown Will Get Anal Poisoning

2009-04-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

Sweet mother of God. Certified whackjob and unofficial leader of the GOP, Rush Limbaugh, mused on air that President Obama might give British PM Gordon Brown "anal poisoning". Now this is a diagnosis with which I'm not too familiar, but the image alone is more than disturbing. Also, what the hell does it even mean?

Limbaugh: “But the slobbering [over Barack Obama], the slobbering… this guy, folks I’m telling ya, if he keeps this up throughout the G20, Gordon Brown will come down with anal poisoning and may die from it.”

That will surely be an entertaining 911 call. But honestly, is Rush Limbaugh really the person upon whom the Republican party wants to rebuild? If so, Democrats can rest easy.

Senator Duffy Gives Speech, Stuffs Face

2009-03-28T12:51:00.000-07:00

In case you've been wondering what Senator Fatty McDildo's been up to lately, he's been out earning his public salary by shilling for small town jerkwater Conservative candidates - that's what!

“I think senators work harder than we journalists ever gave them credit for,” he said, chuckling.

We journalists? Ho ho ho ho, that lardy clown, pretending he used to be a journalist, when we all know he was actually a comedian! Back then, he used to make funny jokes like this:

"I said 'I'm not much of a partisan.' [Duffy] said 'We've got lots of partisans, we don't need any more partisans"

But that was back when times were simple, men were men, and trans-fats were all the rage. Nowadays, the good Senator Duffy is being paid by Joe Q Taxpayer, and is rolling himself from town to town spreading non-partisan messages like this:

“The Conservative Party is not your grandfather’s party, it is the party that will take Canada into the future — you have many achievements to be proud of. [...] "What kind of work do I think Michael Ignatieff is doing? He works very hard and he is doing the work of three people — Larry, Moe and Curly,” said Duffy in a series of rapid-fire jokes. “What is the difference between a member of the NDP and a Liberal? About $500 of suit material,” went another.

Ha ha ha ha! Zinnng! Curiously, that's also the difference between Duffy and a normal-sized human being. But I digress. The point is that (pound for pound) Mike Duffy is the funniest Senator in Canada.

More Conservative Lies

2009-03-25T21:30:00.000-07:00

Usually, when you're marginally qualified and abysmally incompetent at doing something, you don't go around publicizing it. For instance, Paris Hilton has appeared in B-movies such as House of Wax and Bottoms Up, but even she would scarcely call herself an actress. That's why it is amazing to me that Stephen Harper continues to refer to himself as an "economist". The man has been absolutely and unequivocally WRONG about every single opinion he's delivered on the state of the Canadian economy since last fall. So it was no big surprise today to find out that his January economic forecast was...wait for it...WRONG.

Canada's federal budget watchdog warned MPs yesterday that the worsening recession has rendered the Harper government's January economic forecasts obsolete, predicting Ottawa will slide $10-billion deeper into deficit over the next 24 months with near-record levels of red ink ahead.

Ouch. And that's coming from the guy who the Conservatives appointed to be the Parliamentary Budget Officer! The response was typically idiotic.

Conservative MP Mike Wallace said Mr. Page shouldn't have jumped to that conclusion and urged more focus on good news. “I believe part of the issue facing Canada and the world is we need some of the positive stuff.[...]I myself purchased two cars these past two weeks. I am doing my share."

What the fuck? How totally out of touch is this whackjob? Hey Mike, I'm sure your out-of-work pensionless constituents in Burlington will be plum fucking thrilled to hear that you just bought two new cars, you brainless douchebag. Hell, that kind of news alone might just fix our whole economy, dontcha think?

BONUS TRACK: MORE CONSERVATIVE "ACCOUNTABILITY"

On Wednesday [Page] told MPs that he's also having difficulty getting the federal Finance Department to provide him the raw financial data he needs for his analysis and forecasting.
Tory MPs defended withholding some documents, saying they've obtained a legal opinion that the confidentiality of Harper cabinet deliberations could be compromised by giving them to the office.

Supporting The Troops; SDA Style

2009-03-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

Over at Kate's Sociopathic Social Club, the same assorted armchair commandos who were glad to label fellow Canadians as "Taliban supporters" a while back are having a hard time getting too worked up about Fox's Greg Gutfeld's thoughtless and decidedly un-funny mockery of our Armed Forces.

One commenter, "Phil", who describes himself as a serving member of the Forces tries to interject some personal perspective.

As another serving member, an infantry corporal no less, who's lost many friends overseas, I can tell you that I'm not a person who makes insulting jokes about Americans. I'm not a clown who would vote for funding cuts to the CF. I'm not from Toronto, and I don't live in Toronto. And I do have the nerve to bitch and complain and in fact, be disgusted at the Fox talking-heads. Have you risked your life under fire to bail out American troops? If you have then I'm guessing from your comment that you have a couple of screws loose. If you haven't, then maybe you should talk to some of our lads who have. They'll sort you out right quick. To Kate: If you have never had to put your arm around a grieving father who had his son blown up with only melted and charred plastic pieces of his tactical vest left around a burning LAV, then you could never understand how incredibly despicable and hurtful these comments could be. I pray that you may some day gain some sensitivity.[...]And yes, I have indeed watched the show before, and I have indeed watched Fox News before. I'll lighten up when I feel it's necessary. Now's not the time. I guess I'm with the liberals on this one. Proud to be agreeing with them on this matter.

The response from compassionate conservative "Alex" comes quickly:

Nice appeal to emotion, Phil. Very touching. I shed a tear, I really did.[...] I'll sacrifice a goat that you may some day grow a pair. I'm not sure how you managed to stay in the infantry long enough to get your second hook, if this is the kind of shit that gets under your skin.

Now "Alex" may sound like a disrespectful asshole, but he probably has a yellow ribbon stuck to the back of his pickup truck. So I guess his troop-supportin' credentials are up to snuff. Stephen Taylor must be proud.

Awwww.....

2009-03-21T13:33:00.000-07:00

Well, that's a shame.

Accountability? Never Heard of It...

2009-03-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

According to the CPC Lexicon:

Transparency = "pathological hyperpartisan smearmongering"

MPs usually use these statements, called Standing Order 31s, to pay tribute to someone or an event in their riding. But Peterborough Tory MP Dean Del Mastro asked in his Feb. 25 statement: "Why does the Liberal Leader love to flip-flop? When will the Liberals find real leadership?"

Good question, Dean! Here's another. Why should anyone be forced to endure character assassination from a former used car salesman who looks like he ate his last ten customers?

According to the CPC Lexicon:

Accountability = Fuck you!

The Tories promised in their 2006 campaign to set up a "parliamentary budget authority" that would ensure honest budgeting.[...]But Mr. Page's office has been dogged by pressures that could cut its profile. Ottawa has failed to deliver the full $2.8-million in promised funding, giving him less than two-thirds of that.[...]He's also chafing at the Tories' decision to make his office report to a bureaucrat - the Parliamentary Librarian - instead of directly to MPs and senators.

Sounds we should probably pre-appoint someone to oversee the inevitable federal inquiry into where all the stimulus money went...you know, just to get the ball rolling.

Okaaaay....

2009-03-10T16:27:00.000-07:00

I'm all for modern art, but this is just weird.

After Yves Klein’s exhibition at the Iris Clert gallery in 1958, the empty space became a recurrent artistic theme. This chronological exhibition brings together reconstructions of nine empty exhibitions, from Art & Language in 1966 to Roman Ondák en 2006.

Cost of entry to wander around and, um, "view" the empty galleries? 12 Euros (about $20 CAD).
Chacun son goût, I suppose.

Taliban Steve

2009-03-10T10:09:00.000-07:00

Tories warm to Taliban talks

Uh-oh. I guess now we can expect apologies from Asshole, Dicksmack, Jerkwad, Fucko, Racist Ho, and all the other dimwitted Blogging Tories who happily labelled Jack Layton as "Taliban Jack" when he suggested doing the same back in 2006. Or perhaps they can start calling the PM "Taliban Steve". Either way.

Reason Over Ideology

2009-03-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

President Obama has signed an executive order to reverse the ban on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research, reversing 8 years of regressive policy under the Bush administration. Watching Obama's speech, I was struck by his respect for the value of scientific research, and his commitment to protect it from the muzzle of religious doctrine.

"Medical miracles do not happen simply by accident," Obama said in a ceremony Monday. "They result from painstaking and costly research — from years of lonely trial and error, much of which never bears fruit — and from a government willing to support that work," he said.

After nearly a decade of suffering through Bush's theocracy, Americans can finally look forward to an era of decisions based on facts and reason, not ideology. As expected, the God-squad propagandists are not amused (yawn...)

Again With The dr roy...

2009-03-08T10:35:00.000-07:00

It's the weekend, and I didn't feel like taxing my brain too much. So I cruised over to the lowest common denominator of Blogging Tory idiocy, the mudfortunate dr roy. As usual, the good doctor didn't fail to disappoint.

Leaving aside for the moment dr roy's juvenile writing style, chronic misspellings, and general assault on the English language, his overall "premise" of a Democrat hidden agenda was addressed and dismissed adroitly by Bill Maher and his guest Cory Booker on Friday night's episode of RealTime.

Maher: "Do you think there's any truth to what the Republicans are saying that the Democrats are taking advantage of this crisis to put forth their agenda? Now that's what Republicans think because when 9/11 happened, of course that's what they did; they took advantage of a crisis to put forth their agenda. So they think 'Well, this must be how everybody operates, because that's what we do!.'"

For Booker's response, scroll to 5:24 in the video.

And Roy, "tobamessiah"? Seriously?? Have you just stopped trying? Dude, get yourself a spell checker. Your blog will still suck, but at least it'll be intelligible.

What Could Possibly Go Wrong...

2009-02-28T00:08:00.000-08:00

...with Deficit Jim getting a 3 billion dollar cheque to do with as he pleases?

As an aside, I wonder if it troubles folks in the Wingnut world that their former Reformers are now advocates for handing out billions of taxpayer dollars without oversight or public accountability. Just askin'.

Harpama

2009-02-18T21:06:00.000-08:00

"They really, at a basic level, have quite a bit in common," Harper spokesman Kory Teneycke told The Canadian Press, pointing out that both come from "outside the political establishment."

Obama is a young, charismatic, energetic and genuine young leader who has captured the imagination of his country and the world by embodying the virtues of reason, intellect and bipartisanship.

Harper is a fat, dorky, boring political opportunist who has failed to win a majority government despite non-existent opposition, stood in the way of international climate change initiatives, denied economic problems as late as last November, and displayed a hyper-partisan streak so pathological it nearly sank his own government.

Yeah, Kory, they're virtually twins.

End Of The Line?

2009-02-15T12:27:00.000-08:00

A new report suggests that American automaker GM is considering a Chapter 11 bankruptcy filing as its deadline to submit a restructuring and viability plan draws near. GM has already received nearly 10 billion dollars in bailout money.

GM has already announced plans to cut 10,000 salaried workers worldwide, or 14 per cent of its staff, impose pay cuts for most remaining white-collar U.S. workers and has offered buyouts to its 62,000 U.S. workers represented by the UAW.

GM's CEO Rick Wagoner, perhaps sensing that times are tough, recently took a voluntary pay reduction to $1. This brave move has forced him to survive on the remnants of his 2007 compensation of 15.7 million dollars, a 64% increase which he earned for steering his company into a record 39 billion dollar net loss that same year. One wonders how such a profoundly ill industry has managed to survive even this long.

Bonus: Here's The Onion's take.

Norm Coleman and the Art of Douchebaggery

2009-02-10T16:25:00.000-08:00

One can only marvel at the shameless hypocrisy of Norm Coleman. Back in November, when he thought he was leading the Minnesota senate race by 475 votes, Coleman urged his Democratic opponent Al Franken to concede.

"It's up to him whether such a step is worth the tax dollars it will take to conduct," Coleman said, telling reporters he would "step back" if he were in Franken's position.

Sadly for Coleman, an automatic recount confirmed Franken as the narrow winner, after which he developed a curious case of amnesia for his own advice. Today Coleman's legal challenge to Franken's win entered it's 10th day. He has paid his lawyers nearly $190,000 so far. He may try to subpoena all 11,000 rejected ballots for judges to review. And why is he doing all of this?

[Coleman] told a conservative radio audience that “God wants me to serve".

O-kaaaaay. Yet for all his desperate stonewalling, he may be falling even further behind. All of which begs the question: Why does God hate Norm Coleman?

Obama Hates America

2009-02-03T18:28:00.000-08:00

In a move bound to enrage Pennsylvania bitters and ~~Joe~~ Sam the ~~plumber~~ ~~tax cheat~~ ~~war correspondent~~ douchebag, President Obama has backed away from "Buy American" provisions in his economic stimulus bill. Perhaps realizing that a widespread trade war over such a measure would likely damage the American economy and prolong the global economic downturn, Obama today took a step away from protectionist policies.

Mr. Obama said any parts of the bill that could spark retaliation from U.S. allies should be removed. [...] “I think it would be a mistake ... at a time when worldwide trade is declining for us to start sending a message that somehow we're just looking after ourselves and not concerned with world trade,” Mr. Obama said on the Fox television network.

Somewhere, Lou Dobbs is weeping softly.

And They're Back

2009-01-26T11:30:00.000-08:00

After a remarkably short and relatively conciliatory Throne Speech, Deficit Steve laid down a prelude to tomorrow's budget announcement. The same ship of fools who in October were forecasting 5 years of surpluses (because who could possibly have predicted a looming recession?) are now confirming a big deficit. Although the Conservatives have been doing their very best to leak their entire budget before budget day, the devil will be in the details, and the details will be out tomorrow.

Iggy and Duceppe have indicated that they will wait until they see the fine print of the budget before deciding on whether or not it merits their support. If the tone of today's Throne Speech is any indicator, the budget will likely contain enough elements to placate Ignatieff. Personally, I think this is a smart move. The Conservatives will never offer a more conciliatory budget, the Liberals need time to heal and regrow the party, and if a deficit is inevitable, let Harper wear it himself.

And in a curious nod to his own political irrelevance, Jack Layton has already announced that he and the NDP will be voting against a budget they have not yet seen. Bravo.

After the downright "regal" inauguration of Obama, it was a little disheartening to see our parliament resume with Deficit Steve and his cadre of grossly incompetent ministers. But hey, at least they're working again.

Their Guy, Our Guy

2009-01-20T18:44:00.001-08:00

'Nuff said.

Praying For Obama To Fail

2009-01-19T21:54:00.000-08:00

Amidst all of the celebrations surrounding Barack Obama's inauguration, there are a few yahoos offering a dissenting opinion. Enter Joseph Farah. When he's not busy grooming his 80's porn star moustache, Farah oversees the intellectual sinkhole called WorldNetDaily.

When the rule of men conflicts with the commands of God, the Bible leaves no doubt about where we should stand. That's why I do not hesitate today in calling on godly Americans to pray that Barack Hussein Obama fail in his efforts to change our country from one anchored on self-governance and constitutional republicanism to one based on the raw and unlimited power of the central state.

Think he's done being an asshole? Think again.

I want Obama to fail because his agenda is 100 percent at odds with God's. Pretending it is not simply makes a mockery of God's straightforward Commandments.

The WorldNetDaily: It's what you read when your age exceeds your IQ.

Ricardo Montalban R.I.P.

2009-01-14T21:25:00.000-08:00

Today came the sad news that Ricardo Montalban has died. The 88 year old actor was best known for his roles as Mr. Roarke on Fantasy Island, and of course Khan on Star Trek. According to the LA Times, Montalban succumbed to "complications related to old age", which strikes me as rather curious phraseology. In any case, here for your viewing pleasure, are some of his timeless performances.

There's Probably No God...

2009-01-12T21:45:00.000-08:00

Comedy writer Ariane Sherine, Richard Dawkins and the British Humanist Association have breathed fresh air into the London public transit system by organizing a donor funded campaign to plaster public buses with the slogan "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life."

Of course, with every breath of fresh air comes a whiff of stupid. Enter Stephen Green, national director of Christian Voice, who uses said voice to object to the ads on the grounds that they lack supporting evidence. Seriously.

"There is plenty of evidence for God, from people's personal experience, to the complexity, interdependence, beauty and design of the natural world. But there is scant evidence on the other side, so I think the advertisers are really going to struggle to show their claim is not an exaggeration or inaccurate..."

Wow. I don't know if there's a God or not, but if he exists, Stephen Green must surely be his dumbest creation.

RMR: Commemorative Tony Clement Gravy Boat

2009-01-10T12:28:00.000-08:00

Celebrate the spirit of ineffectiveness! (h/t Mo)

Another Day, Another Lie

2009-01-06T22:20:00.000-08:00

Would you buy a car from these two guys? If you did, it would almost certainly be an oil-burning gas guzzler. Over the past few years, the Conservatives have embarrassed Canada repeatedly on the international stage when it comes to their record on the environment.

Rona Ambrose - STEEEERIKE ONE!

John Baird - STEEEERIKE TWO!!

Lawrence Cannon - here's the wind-up....

We made a commitment to implement fuel consumption regulations for the 2011 model year that are benchmarked against a stringent, dominant North American standard, and we are keeping our word," Mr. Cannon said on Jan. 17, 2008.

And the pitch....

The federal government appears to have missed a key legislated benchmark to bring in new fuel-efficiency standards that will help Canada reduce greenhouse-gas emissions. Moreover, the failure of the federal government to meet the deadline could end up costing the beleaguered auto industry money and lost jobs.

STEEEEEEEEEEERIKE THREE!!!!!!

Another promise made, another promise broken. But hey, at least they're open and accountable, right?

After the October election, Mr. Cannon was replaced by John Baird, who moved over from the environment portfolio. A spokesman for Mr. Baird said yesterday that Environment Canada was now the lead department on the file. Environment Minister Jim Prentice was not immediately available to comment.

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T18:50:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been an interesting year. Dion and the Liberals tried and failed to sell the Green Shift. Harper and the Conservatives won a minority, then had to prorogue parliament to avoid losing it. South of the border, Obama won a historic presidential election. Iraq and Afghanistan continue to fester. The world faces a deepening economic crisis. And the year ends with Israel launching a serious military offensive in Gaza. But through it all, hope for a better future shines through on this night as people the world over welcome the new year.

Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, may you find peace, health and happiness in 2009. Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T07:40:00.001-08:00

Wishing everyone Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

That's "Senator" Partisan Hack To You

2008-12-23T08:32:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to Jabba the Duff on finally coming out of the closet. It was always rather a poorly kept secret that Duffy was a Conservative hack in journalists' clothing, but at least now he'll be guaranteed an income till age 75 and a cushy pension thereafter.

But quite aside from Senator Duffy wallowing in pork that was heretofore utilized merely as a topping for his ample servings of poutine, there remains the blatantly obvious flip-floppery of der Führer Stephen Harper stuffing the Senate with 18 patronage appointments after staking a part of his political career on vowing to institute an elected upper chamber. I'm sure we'll hear all the usual Conservative propaganda about how you have to break it in order to fix it, or fix it in order to break it, or something like that. Some see Harper as a "pragmatist". I see him as a man so crazed by the prospect of losing power, that he will throw anyone and anything (including his own ideals) under the bus when the going gets tough. Like atheists, it would seem that there are no Reformers in a foxhole.

Bailing Out

2008-12-22T08:05:00.000-08:00

Jim Arnett, appointed only 3 weeks ago as special auto industry advisor to Stephen Harper and Dalton McGuinty, has quit his job. Although he will continue to work with McGuinty, he appears to have had irreconcilable differences with the Harper Conservatives over the plan for restructuring the auto industry.

Federal insiders said yesterday the Conservative government never really saw eye-to-eye with Arnett on what needed to be done, and Ottawa has no immediate plans to look for a successor.

That sounds pretty bad. This sounds even worse:

Instead, Ottawa will rely on internal advice on how GM, Chrysler and Ford can be made more competitive.

Fantastic. Hopefully, these advisors will be as productive and credible as other giants of Conservative "internal advice":

Wajid Khan: Harper's former special advisor on mid-east affairs. Khan's report on the middle east was so top-secret it was never released to the public, and so influential that Stephen Harper was single-handedly able to use it to bring lasting peace to Arabs and Jews. Khan worked all of these miracles while possibly only violating Elections Canada spending laws to the tune of $30, 000, which most Canadians considered a bargain.

Jim Prentice, Lisa Raitt, John Baird: Together, these three intellectual superstars comprise Harper's environment & energy committee. Just like Obama's energy czar Steven Chu (who won a Nobel Prize in Physics and is the director of the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory), this team's scientific credentials speak for themselves. Prentice is a lawyer who specializes in physical property rights and served as director of the Calgary Winter Club. Raitt is a lawyer who was the former CEO of the Toronto Port Authority. And Baird has a Bachelor of Arts from Queen's and has been a vegetarian since 1997. Toss in Rona Ambrose, and you have a true scientific powerhouse that has helped to make Canada the envy of the world when it comes to action on the environment.

With internal advisors like this, I have no doubt that Canada's New Government can guarantee the automakers a rosy future, just as Jim Flaherty projected bugdet surpluses for the next five years. And we all know how that turned out.

CPC Spin & Public Ignorance: The Chicken Or The Egg?

2008-12-15T12:03:00.001-08:00

A few days ago, Steve V over at Far and Wide posted about the reality of seemingly overwhelming public disapproval of the coalition. In general, I agreed with most of what he had to say. But I couldn't escape the nagging feeling that public views on matters of government are largely shaped by knowledge about the way government is supposed to work. Today, some numbers have come out which confirm that, in general, Canadians are rather poorly informed about our system of government.

For example, results of the Ipsos Reid survey show 75 per cent of Canadians asked believe the prime minister, or the Governor General, is head of state.

It's a telling statistic, and I have to wonder how a misperception of our PM being the head of state may have influenced public acceptance of the legitimacy of the coalition.

All of which brings me to the point of my post. The Conservatives have been busy in recent weeks denouncing the coalition as "illegitimate" and "undemocratic". Harper himself has said:

"The opposition does not have the democratic right (to replace the Conservative government)...without your say, without your consent and without your vote"

This is of course a falsehood in our constitutional monarchy. So by repeating a lie, is Harper creating ignorance, or simply feeding off it?

In either case, I think a strong case can be made for mandatory civics classes in our elementary and secondary schools. As citizens of a democratic nation, we owe it to ourselves and to future generations to take our obligations as electors seriously. As Marc Chalifoux (president of the Dominion Institute) said:

"Canadians certainly were interested by what was going on in Ottawa, but lacked in many cases the basic knowledge to form informed opinions"

Gretchen Carlson: The Festivus Grinch

2008-12-14T11:40:00.000-08:00

In response to a Washington man's request to place a Festivus pole amongst the holiday displays at the state capitol in Olympia, Gretchen Carlson of FauxNews expressed her phony outrage at yet another attack on Christmas by the heathens. Said Carlson:

I am tolerant. I'm all for free speech and free rights, just not on December 25th.

You can watch the whole video below.

And for those of you who lived in a cave during the 90's, here is a bit of info on Festivus: The holiday for the rest of us.

Buckle Up, It's Iggy!

2008-12-10T10:25:00.000-08:00

Mere days after Dion's resignation, the Liberal caucus has endorsed Michael "Iggy" Ignatieff as interim leader. As readers of this blog will know, I was a supporter of Bob Rae's leadership bid. Like Bob, I wish that the LPC had decided to engage the entire membership in the leadership process, but time and circumstances appear to have dictated otherwise. No matter. The Liberal Party has a number of difficult problems on its plate, and continued political infighting about the leadership need not be one of them. Bob Rae himself has been tremendously gracious about his withdrawal, and has unequivocally given his support to Iggy. From Bob's blog:

I offer my full and unqualified support to Michael, a friend and colleague of more than forty years standing. I call on my friends and supporters to do the same. I know Michael to be a person of wisdom and generosity. He will make a great Prime Minister.

Though I'm disappointed that Rae is out, I think it's time to move on. I still believe the OMOV system will be an important mechanism for the LPC to generate funds and interest, and to connect with grassroots supporters. But this debate is better saved for the convention. For now, it's time for Liberals to focus on the new leader. Iggy's greatest task in the coming days will be to bring the party together and devise a strategy to deal with the inevitable CPC attacks prior to and during the upcoming parliamentary session. If he is to succeed, he will require the party's full support, and he should have it.

Dion's Gone...Now What?

2008-12-08T11:38:00.000-08:00

Now that Stéphane Dion has officially offered his resignation, a few thoughts on the current state of the Liberal nation.

Despite the rather ignominious manner of his departure, Dion should always be remembered as a man of intellect, honesty and integrity.
Don't rush. Although the weight of support seems to be behind Ignatieff (Dominic LeBlanc has just given a press conference in support of Iggy), the Liberals need to avoid "installing" him as leader via a backroom deal.
Open up the leadership process to the membership. A One Member One Vote system would serve the dual purpose of offering an inclusive and transparent process, and re-connecting with grassroots supporters.
Fire every single person working on the Liberal marketing team. Now. The Liberals have to understand that good ideas don't just sell themselves, especially not in the face of a vicious and ruthlessly well oiled CPC attack machine. While they search for a new leader and a new message, they need to hire PR types that are as shrewd as their Conservative counterparts to sell their vision to Canadians.
Keep up the pressure on Stephen Harper. Make no mistake, King Steve isn't spending even one minute navel gazing about what he could have done differently. He is sitting somewhere, seething at the the way in which he was betrayed by the opposition parties, and he is already plotting his next move. Be prepared.

We Need Breathing Room!

2008-12-04T21:31:00.000-08:00

And he got it.

Had the GG denied King Steve his prorogation, she would likely have angered many wingnuts, some of whom already see her position as a relic of the monarchy and wish to do away with it. And although her decision to continue with tradition and rubber-stamp the PM's request will assuage their fears, it actually lends some creedence to their views in a roundabout sort of way. Our system of government has operated with the implicit assumption that no Prime Minister would put the GG in the difficult position of having to rigorously interpret the constitution and actually utilize her royal prerogative in a meaningful way. Of course, Harper is a dick, and had no problem testing the will of the GG in order to save his own job. By acquiescing, Michaelle Jean has kept with tradition, but has unwittingly become complicit in Harper's political gamesmanship. And if the GG does not intervene at a time when the Prime Minister is attempting to misuse the constitution for his own political gain, then truly what function does she serve? In my opinion, her decision has set a dangerous precedent. Only time will tell.

Tears Flow at the National Compost

2008-12-03T15:04:00.000-08:00

It's not particularly high minded, but I must confess I do get a sort of smug satisfaction in watching the worthless hacks at the National Post foaming at the mouth over the prospect of a coalition government.

In a particularly fetid editorial which may as well have been penned by Pierre Poilievre himself, the question is posed:

[A]h, "elections" -- who else remembers that quaint method we once used to pick prime ministers?

This CPC talking point and outright LIE has been exposed and quashed many times over, but needless to say in our parliamentary democracy, we have never used general elections to "pick prime ministers". We pick MPs, as this insightful article explains.

Meanwhile, Jonathan Kay makes an impassioned case for Canada to become a Republic, complaining about the country's future being left in the hands of an unelected Governor General.

The wonderful thing about the American system — the aspect that never gets talked about for some reason — is that the President can appoint any genius he likes to Cabinet spots ... The President, as ultimate decider, just picks the best people, they accept and … that's it.

Kay fails to explain why unelected Presidential appointees are more "democratic" than a GG, or what in particular makes them "the best people". One need only look as far back as Donald Rumsfeld, Alberto Gonzalez and Michael Brown to realize that Presidential appointees needn't be qualified or competent to earn their jobs.

Finally Lorne Gunter writes a tongue-in-cheek piece bemoaning the economic calamity which awaits the country under a "socialist" coalition. I would point out only that Lorne writes for the National Post, an ardently conservative newspaper which has lost money every year since its inception (by some estimates, $15 million per year) and continues to do so.

The prospect of a coalition government comes with a number of question marks, and though I support it, I do have some degree of trepidation. Still, watching the conservapundits sweat and squirm puts a small but sweet smile on my face.

All For One and One For All!

2008-12-01T18:39:00.000-08:00

Well, maybe not quite. Still, Stéphane Dion, Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe today announced their intent to bring down the Conservative government by entering into a formal coalition. Good for them. Harper's own pathological need to destroy his political opponents has cost him dearly, and he may yet end up paying the ultimate political price.

He still has a few tricks up his sleeve, and he won't hesitate to use them. Most likely he'll ask the GG to prorogue parliament, a shameless move designed only to avoid a non-confidence vote. Alternately, he could face the vote, lose it, then petition the GG to call a general election. Of course the GG is under no obligation to grant him either of his wishes, but King Steve will surely make her job as hard as possible.

Will the coalition last? No. But I wonder if a brief chance for co-governance would soften both the Liberals and the NDP to the idea of a more formal arrangement in the future. Hell, it worked for the Conservatives. How does 'The Liberal Democratic Party of Canada' sound? Weird, I know. But then, these are weird times.

P.S. My blog is undergoing a bit of a facelift. I'm going for a somewhat 'cleaner' look. My apologies for any glitches while I tinker.

Run For Your Lives, It's A Coup d'État!!

2008-11-30T13:26:00.000-08:00

Sigh. Once again, the inveterate howler monkeys otherwise known as the Blogging Tories have managed to get their panties in a knot over the latest threat to democracy as we know it. A "coup d'état", they're calling it. A veritable overthrow of the Harper government by an opposition that has suddenly discovered its testicles.

Over at Crotch of the Matter, Sandy resurrects the moldy corpse of the sponsorship scandal, blames the mainstream media, and looks up the wikipedia definition of "coup d'état":

A coup d’état (pronounced /kuːdeɪˈtɑː/ AHD: [ko͞o"dā tä]), often simply called a coup, is the sudden unconstitutional overthrow of a government by a part — usually small — of the state establishment — usually the military — to replace the branch of the stricken government, either with another civil government or with a military government.

Pity that poor Sandy fails to read the definition that she herself posts, in particular the bit about a coup being "unconstitutional". Ah but there's that pesky Canadian constitution, which permits the opposition parties to do precisely what they are doing. Nevermind...the constitution is clearly Liberal-biased.

And then there's our old dependable hapless Dr. Roy. He who blogs without benefit of reason, original thought, or even a basic spell-checker. He who rants about ethics and crime, while proudly displaying his support for convicted criminal and fraudster Conrad Black.

It's hard to know what exactly Roy would have the Opposition parties do. On the one hand, he mocks the Liberals for their inaction during the last parliament. On the other, he cries "coup d'état" as soon as they oppose King Harper, and refers to them as "enemies" of the Conservatives. A real head-scratcher, that one.

The BT's concerned about an impending 'crisis' would do well to remember that this was entirely Harper's doing. As Howard Elliot wrote in the Spectator:

This country is facing recession. While we're in better shape than many jurisdictions, we can't escape the global slowdown. It's here, and it's going to get worse before it gets better. Harper acknowledged this general sentiment as recently as last weekend and said a deficit might be essential in the name of economic stimulation. But when he had a choice between responsible governance and partisan warfare, he chose the latter. That's a betrayal of public trust, plain and simple.

Mumbai Under Attack

2008-11-26T18:39:00.000-08:00

Mumbai has suffered a series of co-ordinated terrorist attacks which have left over 80 dead and hundreds injured. Yet another disgusting and cowardly act against innocent people. Let's hope that the the current crisis is resolved quickly and that the perpetrators are caught and punished severely.

British PM Gordon Brown:
"These outrageous attacks in Mumbai will be met with a vigorous response. I have sent a message to Prime Minister (Manmohan) Singh that the UK stands solidly with his government as they respond, and to offer all necessary help."

Brooke Anderson (Spokesperson for Barack Obama):
"[President-elect Obama] strongly condemns today's terrorist attacks in Mumbai, and his thoughts and prayers are with the victims, their families and the people of India. These coordinated attacks on innocent civilians demonstrate the grave and urgent threat of terrorism."

Russian President Dimitry Medvedev:
"We are concerned about the loss of life and consider that acts of terrorism of this type are harmful to the whole international order and are a challenge to humanity,"

Liberal MP Bob Rae:
"Arlene and I will be praying for a safe release of the hostages, and hope that the perpetrators of these horrendous acts of violence are brought to justice. Let me also extend my special concern to all Canadians -- my own family included -- who have a special place in their lives for India and her people."

From The "Who Gives A Sh*t" Department

2008-11-23T09:04:00.000-08:00

"Vatican forgives John Lennon for Jesus quip"

Honestly, why do they even bother?

Needing A Lift

2008-11-16T11:47:00.000-08:00

As American lawmakers contemplate a 25 billion dollar bailout of the Big 3 automakers, and as Canada considers following suit, let's take a moment to consider the absurdity of this situation.

American automakers have for years been committed to producing poorly built gas guzzling monstrosities, and their total failure to anticipate a changing marketplace has finally caught up with them. This isn't rocket science folks, and it's not as though the writing wasn't on the walls for the past, oh, twenty-five years. And now, finally faced with the stark reality that people simply don't want their cars, these free market privateers have turned to the public sector to backstop their ineptitude.

On Friday, Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty met with executives from the Big 3 to hear their pitch for a cash infusion.

The presidents of Honda Canada Inc. and Toyota Canada Inc. were also at the meeting. Mr. Bryant stressed that those companies are not facing a liquidity crisis but wanted to ensure that any aid provided to the Detroit Three does not leave Honda and Toyota at a competitive disadvantage.

The Japanese car makers are doing just fine, thank you very much. For decades they have been in the business of making smaller, high quality, fuel-efficient cars. And now, to no one's surprise (except, seemingly, Detroit's) they are on top.

If the prospect of using taxpayer money to bail out bloated dinosaurs like GM isn't frightening enough, ask yourself what our federal and provincial governments are doing to assist enterprising home grown electric automakers like Zenn Motor Cars and Dynasty Electric Vehicles. The answer - nothing.

With the exceptions of the province of Quebec and the municpalities of Vancouver and Oak Bay BC, Zenn electric cars are not even permitted to operate on Canadian streets. Likewise for Dynasty's IT electric cars, whose parent company is being forced to shift production from Delta BC to Pakistan. And if their cars seem a little too...pedestrian, check out California's Tesla Motors, which is now producing the impressive electric Roadster to backlogged demand, and promises to deliver a $60,000 luxury electric sedan by 2010.

Surely these are the automakers that deserve a slice of that 25 billion dollar pie. Let Exxon Mobil bail out GM. If public money is to be spent in the auto industry, let us invest it in the future, and not in the past.

YES HE DID!!

2008-11-04T20:04:00.001-08:00

They Went There

2008-11-02T10:58:00.000-08:00

For those of you that had any lingering doubts about whether or not Republicans would resort to the lowest, sleaziest swiftboat ads to derail Obama in the waning days of their miserable lie-filled campaign:

In fairness (and it's hard to be fair to such lowlifes) John McCain did not officially "approve" this ad, as it was released by a GOP political action group. But it does highlight the stunning desperation of the Republicans as McCain's so-called path to the White House becomes increasingly difficult.

On a related topic, who precisely are the "undecided voters"? Have these people not received enough information in the course of this seemingly interminable race to make up their damn minds? There are ONLY TWO CANDIDATES, for Christ's sake! How hard can this possibly be?? CHOOSE!

McCain Supporter Attacks Young Man!

2008-10-26T13:30:00.000-07:00

Priceless...

Flying Low: Another Miserable Week For McCain

2008-10-25T14:20:00.000-07:00

Let's take a quick look at the McCain campaign's latest greatest hits, shall we?

Lipstick On A Pig: The RNC disclosed that it spent $150,000 of campaign money (donated by Joe The Idiots everywhere) to buy clothes for Sarah Palin and her family at Saks Fifth Avenue and Nieman Marcus. And the highest paid person in the entire McCain campaign? Amy Strozzi (Palin's make-up stylist) who was paid $22,000 for just 2 weeks work in October, more than McCain's own chief foreign policy advisor Randy Scheunemann.

Crazy Runs In The Family: John McCain's 66 year old baby brother Joe decided to call 911 to complain about traffic.

Operator: 911 state your emergency

McCain: It's not an emergency but do you know why on one side at the damn drawbridge of 95traffic is stopped for 15 minutes and yet traffic's coming the other way?

Operator: Sir, are you calling 911 to complain about traffic? (pause)

McCain: "(Expletive) you." (caller hangs up)

The 911 operator then called McCain back and left a message admonishing him for misusing the emergency service, after which he actually called 911 back to complain again!

The New "Face Of The Campaign":

By now, everyone is aware of the sad, sordid tale of self-mutilating wingnut Ashley Todd. Cruising around Pittsburgh, this dopey McCain campaign worker claimed to have been assaulted by a black Obama supporter who carved a (backwards) "B" into her face. The B, as it turns out, stands for Bullshit. After receiving sympathy calls from both John McCain and Sarah Palin, Todd admitted the whole story was made up. She is now behind bars herself. And, surprise, surprise...the McCain campaign may have been involved in pushing the whole hoax onto the media.

One wonders whether old man McCain even wants to win this thing anymore...

Why Do French People Hate Quebecers?

2008-10-19T12:09:00.000-07:00

Everyone's favourite Mr. Belvedere lookalike and corpulent xenophobe Jacques Parizeau is back in the news. Proving that he has his finger on the pulse of Canada's burning issues, he wonders why do French people hate Quebecers so much?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy a bowl of Liberty Onion Soup and a plate of Freedom Fries.

RoboGOP: McCain's New Smear Tactic

2008-10-17T17:27:00.000-07:00

So while Grampy McSame was busy telling Bob Schieffer, Barack Obama and millions of Americans that he doesn't really care about an "old washed-up terrorist", his campaign started autodialing said Americans with the following automated message:

Hello. I'm calling for John McCain and the RNC because you need to know that Barack Obama has worked closely with domestic terrorist Bill Ayers, whose organization bombed the U.S. capitol, the Pentagon, a judge's home and killed Americans. And Democrats will enact an extreme leftist agenda if they take control of Washington. Barack Obama and his Democratic allies lack the judgment to lead our country. This call was paid for by McCain-Palin 2008 and the Republican National Committee at 202-863-8500.

Charming, no? It combines the dickishness of character assassination with the douchebaggery of telemarketing. A winning combination for sure!

Presidential Debate #3

2008-10-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

This picture basically sums up the debate, and the state of the campaigns.

Pretty much everyone (including the Fox News focus group) is calling this one another win for Obama. Too bad for Grampy McSame and Winky Mainstreet.

Overwhelmingly Underwhelmed

2008-10-14T21:35:00.000-07:00

To paraphrase Rick Mercer's analysis:

Disappointment for Stephen Harper; no majority.

Disappointment for Stephane Dion; lost seats and lost Fortress Ontario.

Disappointment for Jack Layton; still in 4th place.

Disappointment for Elizabeth May; lost her riding and no elected MPs.

Satisfaction for Gilles Duceppe; but he's a separatist.

Cost: $300 million.

Estimated voter turnout: less than 60%

HOORAY FOR CANADA!! I'm going to bed.

You Stay Classy, Luc Harvey.

2008-10-12T12:46:00.000-07:00

When the going gets tough, the Conservatives get ugly. Take Luc Harvey. The Conservative incumbent in Louis-Hébert decided to crash a Bloc event in the riding and heckle Gilles Duceppe to the point that the RCMP were asked to move him out of the way.

When asked to explain his less than dignified behaviour, Harvey responded with typical CPC arrogance:

“I'm in my riding here. This is the riding of Louis-Hébert, and this is Luc Harvey's riding,” he said.

Luc Harvey's riding?? In 2006, this petulant cretin won by less than one fifth of one percent, earning a whopping 34.22% of the vote. This time around, predictions are that the Bloc will re-take the riding. Harvey would do well to keep these things in mind as he stomps around, claiming ownership of Louis-Hébert, and generally acting like an ass.

Jeepers Joe-6-Pack, She's A Hockey Mom Doggonit!

2008-10-03T19:42:00.000-07:00

Judging from the amount of right-wing self-fellating going on today, I have to conclude the following about what Republicans want in a VP.

A VP should:

Wink a lot
Enunciate poorly
Use empty catch phrases and blue collar jingo in every sentence
Use quotes out of context
Be able to recite talking points, while demonstrating little to no understanding of issues
Lapse into incoherency from time to time

But don't take it from me. Let's hear it straight from Winky Mainstreet:

"That is not so, but because that's just a quick answer, I want to talk about, again, my record on energy versus your ticket's energy ticket, also."

Well said, also.

"One thing that Americans do at this time, also, though, is let's commit ourselves just every day American people, Joe Six Pack, hockey moms across the nation, I think we need to band together and say never again. Never will we be exploited and taken advantage of again by those who are managing our money and loaning us these dollars."

Yes! Damn you, people lending us these...dollars. Doggone it, what'chya need is a team of mavericks who, with, reformin' and also rejiggimifyin' the whole White House thingy. Also! *wink*

Harper "Appears" On Countdown With Keith Olbermann!

2008-09-29T20:20:00.000-07:00

Funny little video of Keith Olbermann noticing that not all Junior ~~Nitwits~~ Tories are "standing up" for Canada.

Your Weekend Python

2008-09-26T15:49:00.000-07:00

Going up to Whistler for the weekend. Enjoy one of my favourite video clips from Monty Python's Holy Grail, and have a good weekend!

My Eyes!! Ze Gogglez...Zey Do Nussing!!

2008-09-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

Sweet Mother of God. This woman is borderline retarded.

Bailout healthcare economy stuff with jobs maverick reform and tax maverick Wall Street things and stuff maverick. She talk real good-like!

WOW. The Stupid, It Burns...

2008-09-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

Please watch this nightmarish video of Sarah Palin being interviewed by Katie Couric.

In fairness to the DOS-based Palinbot, there is no actual answer to Couric's question. McCain has been a shameless deregulator his whole career. But we'll eagerly wait for the hockey mom to research even one single example of McOld's "maverickness". Good grief.

Harper's "Ordinary" Canadians

2008-09-23T18:48:00.000-07:00

Who are these people anyway? According to Harper, "ordinary" Canadians don't really care about arts and culture.

Harper dismissed mounting criticism of the cuts by calling it a "niche" issue that doesn't resonate with "ordinary" Canadians.

In his strongest statements to date over the cuts, Harper said regular Canadians see a "bunch of people, you know, at a rich gala all subsidized by taxpayers claiming their subsidies aren't high enough, when they know those subsidies have actually gone up."

In a response, Justin Trudeau pointed out that the average salary in the arts industry is $23,000. Rich gala elites indeed.

"Ordinary" Canadians do want 14 year olds jailed for life and meaningless restrictions on house arrest sentencing. For critics of the latter, Harpo had this to say:

“That's who we're listening to, not people who work in ivory towers but people who actually work on the street and deal with crime on a day-to-day basis.”

Of course, those same people who "work on the street" also support the gun registry and the InSite clean needle program. But those folks are probably just closet ivory tower millionaires, so fuck them.

Stephen Harper: getting things done for Canadians, one culture war at a time.

Pushin' Out The Ritz

2008-09-20T13:10:00.000-07:00

Here's the new Liberal attack ad, harshly criticizing |Agriculture Minister Gerry Ritz and the Conservative response to the listeriosis outbreak.

I can't say I'm a big fan of this particular spot. I've never liked negative advertising, although I suppose I understand the reason behind it in this particular case. There's been a lot made of Minister Ritz's insensitive remarks and off-colour joke about Wayne Easter, including a new video game. His comments were flat out stupid, no question. But in and of themselves, they were merely emblematic of a larger problem within the Harper government - that of a fundamental shift towards deregulation.

It's really the inevitable endpoint of continual tax cuts, which must be paid for in some manner. The Harper government has chosen to balance the books by axing, amongst other things, federal regulatory programs, betting that a shift of responsibility to the private sector (in the form of industry self-regulation) would go unnoticed by the public. We've seen this movie before, in Walkerton Ontario under the Harris government, and just recently south of the border. There is a heavy price to be paid for deregulation.

A recent editorial in the Canadian Medical Association Journal (CMAJ) blasted the Conservative government for failing to adequately ensure the integrity of public health.

Harper has called an "independent investigation" into the listeriosis epidemic that has killed at 16 people. But the editors said that under the terms of reference:

The investigator will not have the power to subpoena witnesses or documents.
The investigation will not be public.
There is no commitment to publishing the findings or reporting to Parliament.

Such flaws will make the investigation inferior compared to those that probed Canada's tainted blood scandal, the Walkerton tainted water crisis and the SARS epidemic. Those inquiries made governance and medical recommendations to better protect Canadians, the editorial said.

The Harper government's insistence on allowing private industries to regulate themselves is puzzling, to say the least. Conservatives will argue that industry has an inherent interest in promoting public safety. Crises such as the listeriosis outbreak, they say, will impact public confidence in Maple Leaf Foods and in turn lower profits. As Thomas Walkom points out:

Now, government inspectors in many areas – including meat – do little or no real inspecting. Instead, they rely on companies to monitor themselves and spend most of their time analyzing industry-compiled data.
It's what Harper calls a "joint effort."
The theory behind this is that firms have a long-term incentive to make consumers believe their food is safe.
Which, perhaps, they do. But they also have a powerful incentive to make short-term profits for their shareholders. At times, the two incentives can collide. What Gerry Ritz doesn't seem to understand is that when this happens, the results aren't funny.

And By "Good", I Mean "Bad"

2008-09-15T17:05:00.000-07:00

Life must be good when you have seven houses, a multi-millionaire wife, a nitwit running-mate, and legions of the dumbest people on earth to call your "base". This morning, John McCain told a gathering of his supporters that the "fundamentals" of the US economy are strong, while simultaneously vowing to "never put America in this position again".

It's hard to know which part of McCain's statement is more ridiculous. The part where he lauds the rock solid fundamentals of the US economy (which has recently seen the collapse of the housing market and the government bailout of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac) on the very day that Lehman Brothers declares bankruptcy, Merrill Lynch is bought by Bank of America, shares of AIG drop 61% and the Dow falls by over 500 points? Or the part where he promises never to return the USA to such a position of market strength?

But then, perhaps McCain needn't worry about appearing out of touch. After all, his VP pick once looked after the budget for the Wasilla town council. And anyways, you get the feeling that knowing sweet fuck-all about the economy probably won't give people like Andy Lacasse a reason to change the sign on his front lawn. Or even correct the spelling.

It's 3am. The Phone Rings. It's Jason Kenney.

2008-09-08T16:01:00.000-07:00

Well now that the campaign is on, the Conservatives have ~~started~~ continued doing what they've been doing all along - smearing the opposition with attack ads. Only today, they started early - 6am to be exact. The attempt, of course, was to "control" the media agenda by beating the other parties to the punch. Unfortunately for the CPC, the strategy backfired.

But Monday morning's unveiling of a new series of campaign ads attacking Liberal Leader Stéphane Dion received no live coverage on any of the major national television networks.

Instead, CBC Newsworld cut to the question-and-answer session after the announcement, when Conservative MPs Jason Kenney and Lawrence Cannon faced a series of tough questions.

The pair made no substantive policy announcements, choosing instead to target Mr. Dion and the main plank of his campaign platform, The Green Shift.

I find it more than a little odd that a party so rich and so adept at spin doctoring is also so catastrophically inept at organizing press conferences (anyone remember the infamous fire-escape exit after the RCMP raid?).

Meanwhile, Sweater-Vest Man was out here in Richmond, campaigning in someone's backyard. When asked by a reporter if he would stop in & out financing pending the investigation, he said something to the effect of "we will continue to follow election financing laws as they are currently interpreted and as they have been interpreted in the past". In other words "I'll keep breaking the law until someone's throws my ample ass in jail".

Finally, there's been some discussion over at Red Tory's about Dion's announcement today that, if elected, he would implement a full ban on all assault weapons. While I agree that this is hardly a susbstantive initiative one way or the other, and that Dion runs the risk of re-opening the Gun Registry debate, I would suggest that the real motive behind this announcement is to play into his ongoing attempt to frame this election as a choice between Harper's right wing agenda, and Dion's "kinder, gentler Canada". Forcing gun control onto the agenda will likely widen the urban-rural split, but will help to paint Harper as a Bush-ian extremist (as Dion has already been alluding to). Anyways, it's merely the opening salvo in what promises to be a long campaign on all sides.

GOP Used Stock Photos of "Teh Blacks"

2008-09-05T17:47:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows that the Republican Party (the party of old white people) is the best friend of "the coloureds". When the GOP was putting together its video tribute to John McCain, it decided that rather than go out and take pictures of actual African-Americans - they must have assumed it would be dangerous, given the state of America's inner cities - they would simply download them from iStockphotos.com. Sadly, this is not a joke. Go to 6:45 and 7:02 of the video, and check out the pics below. h/t DailyKos

Harper's "Fixed" Election

2008-09-05T10:04:00.000-07:00

So now it's all but done. Prime Minister Tubby Lardass will take his smarmy, shit-eating grin to the Governor General this weekend and break his own fixed election date law, a fitting end to his miserable lie-filled governance.

Rex Murphy had to this to say about Harper's latest charade:
It's one thing to take politicians promises with a grain of salt. Mr. Harper is proposing a much sturdier challenge: how to believe them when they take a promise and make it the law of the land, and then ignore it, nullify it, bury that law, just because it suits them.

So the Conservatives will be taking us into another election, running on a record of broken promises, indifference to climate change, stewardship of a declining economy, and possible violations of election financing laws. And, according to the latest polls, this may be good enough to win. Hooray for Canada!

Thoughts On Palin, And The Hypocrisy Of The Right

2008-09-04T08:06:00.000-07:00

So, Sarah Failin' Palin gave her big speech to a room full of old white people (aka the RNC) last night, proving once again that Republicans will kill the Mooslems, save your soul, and lower your taxes. And if you disagree, you are obviously a sexist. My thoughts on last night's speech.

Palin came across as confident and tough, a stark contrast to McCain.
She has an incredibly annoying voice and accent, and if I hear "Eye-Rack" one more time, I'm gonna vomit.
She managed to energize a room of old Republicans, itself a difficult task.
She avoided going overboard on the loony hardcore Christian stuff, which may not have played well with the evangelicals, but didn't put off independents.
Her speech was short on policy specifics, in particular the economy and healthcare.
Her attacks on Obama were neither funny nor effective. Making fun of his community organizer roots is not a winning strategy for the former mayor of Wasilla. ("Look at Obama, making a big deal about helping poor Negroes...Ha Ha Ha!") Groan...
I was a bit surprised she mentioned the Bridge To Nowhere. This is a weak point for her, as she was originally in favour of it before flip-flopping.
It's curious that her supporters are decrying what they perceive as "sexism", while at the same time handing out pins saying "Hottest VP".
Overall, despite the fact that I disagree with her on everything, she gave the kind of speech the GOP was hoping she would, and for that she deserves credit. Her real test will come in the following weeks, when she has to think on her feet, facing the media daily and debating the likes of Joe Biden.

Finally, Jon Stewart had a truly inspired segment last night exposing the utter hypocrisy of right wing blowhards. Do yourself a favour, follow the link, and enjoy a good laugh.

Earth To "Celestial Junk": Peggy Noonan Lies

2008-09-03T15:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, you don't even need to poke fun at the right-wing-o-sphere. Sometimes, they do it to themselves. Paul, churning out the trash at Celestial Junk, slobbers over an article by Peggy Noonan in which she makes an impassioned case for the obvious brilliance of Sarah Palin's selection, the logic behind the decision and the 'danger' she poses to the "American Left". Here's a sample, lifted from Celestial Junk.
I'm bumping into a lot of critics who do not buy the legitimacy of small town mayorship (Palin had two terms in Wasilla, Alaska, population 9,000 or so) and executive as opposed to legislative experience. But executives, even of small towns, run something. There are 262 cities in this country with a population of 100,000 or more. But there are close to a hundred thousand small towns with ten thousand people or less. "You do the math," the conservative pollster Kellyanne Conway told me. "We are a nation of Wasillas, not Chicagos."
America may not be a nation of Chicagos, but neither is it a nation of university grads. So, according to Conway and Noonan, perhaps the best person to lead the USA is a country bumpkin with no foreign policy experience and a high school education. Sound good, Paul?
But the icing on this particular fruitcake is that not only is Noonan's article hilariously stupid, it's also a complete lie. Earlier today, Noonan was caught on a live mic discussing the Palin appointment and letting her true views out. Here's the video, and below is the transcript.

Chuck Todd: Mike Murphy, lots of free advice, we'll see if Steve Schmidt and the boys were watching. We'll find out on your blackberry. Tonight voters will get their chance to hear from Sarah Palin and she will get the chance to show voters she's the right woman for the job Up next, one man who's already convinced and he'll us why Gov. Jon Huntsman.
(cut away)
Peggy Noonan: Yeah.
Mike Murphy: You know, because I come out of the blue swing state governor world: Engler, Whitman, Tommy Thompson, Mitt Romney, Jeb Bush. I mean, these guys -- this is how you win a Texas race, just run it up. And it's not gonna work. And --
PN: It's over.
MM: Still McCain can give a version of the Lieberman speech to do himself some good.
CT: I also think the Palin pick is insulting to Kay Bailey Hutchinson, too.
PN: Saw Kay this morning.
CT: Yeah, she's never looked comfortable about this --
MM: They're all bummed out.
CT: Yeah, I mean is she really the most qualified woman they could have turned to?
PN: The most qualified? No! I think they went for this -- excuse me-- political bullshit about narratives --
CT: Yeah they went to a narrative.
MM: I totally agree.
PN: Every time the Republicans do that, because that's not where they live and it's not what they're good at, they blow it.
MM: You know what's really the worst thing about it? The greatness of McCain is no cynicism, and this is cynical.
CT: This is cynical, and as you called it, gimmicky.
MM: Yeah.

So my question is, who looks more foolish?
a) Peggy Noonan for writing such garbage, then getting caught calling it "bullshit".
b) Paul for eating it up, hook line & sinker
c) Both of the above

I report, you decide.

Welcome To The World's Lamest Convention

2008-09-02T18:42:00.000-07:00

Yes folks, it's the Republican National Convention! Hampered by Hurricane Gustav, a controversial and generally unpopular VP pick, and legions of people who would simply rather watch their toenails grow, the RNC is off & limping. Here are some highlights from this ennui-fest.

RNC co-chairperson Jo Ann Davidson mistakenly says "The next vice-president of the United States, Sarah Pawlenty!". Wishful thinking, perhaps?

Another curious faux-pas came earlier in the day from McCain campaign manager Rick Davis, who referred to Palin as "Governor Failin".

Minnesotan congresswoman Michele Bachmann says "Some presidential nominees know more about service than others!", implying that Barack Obama should have gone to Vietnam as a ten year old child.

George W Bush adresses the convention via satellite, sparing McCain the spectacle of another embarrasing photo-op.

Someone wake me up when this thing ends.

The Palin Saga

2008-09-01T15:12:00.000-07:00

I haven't yet blogged about Sarah Palin because, frankly, all the predictable things to say have been said. Some are decrying her lack of executive experience, foreign policy credentials, and are suggesting that her pick was little more than a naked ploy to win over disaffected Hillary supporters. Others think she is a "game changer", and a clever play to the evangelical base of the Republican party, themselves uncertain about McCain's fudamentalist credentials. These people adore her hard-line support of creationist teaching, the pro-life movement, and abstinence education in schools.

Well, life is a funny thing. Today, Palin announced that her 17 year old unmarried daughter Bristol is 5 months pregnant. Now let me be clear on this: I don't believe that the bedroom antics of Palin's daughter should be used as campaign fodder for political gain by anyone. But as an item of news released by Palin herself, Bristol's pregnancy should draw attention to the unquestionable absurdity and laughable folly of "abstinence-only education". In fact, a U.S. government report in 2007 supported the notion that abstinence-only sex ed just doesn't work.

By the by, Obama has already released a statement about this story, stating unequivocally that all candidates' children should be "off limits". Agreed.

Tories Kill Unborn Private Member's Bill

2008-08-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

Fetus fetishists have to be doubly disappointed today. Not only did Dear Leader turn his back on the cause of fetal rights, he did so by aborting a defenseless unborn private member's bill.

Justice Minister Rob Nicholson announced Monday that the government will draft a new bill to replace Bill C-484, the Unborn Victims of Crime Act, so that it closes the debate about fetal rights and focuses instead on penalizing criminals who harm pregnant women.

So the door is closed on fetal rights. But what about the rights of unborn bills? Who speaks for them? C-484 was well into its 3rd trimester (having passed second reading this spring), which would technically make this a late term abortion. Only a ruthless hypocrite like Stephen Harper could so mercilessly trample on his 'base' by simultaneously robbing fetuses and unborn bills of their God-given right to life. For shame.

And The Winner Is...

2008-08-22T22:28:00.000-07:00

Joe Biden! Let the swiftboating begin...

Tony Clement's Junk(ie) Mail

2008-08-19T18:52:00.000-07:00

Resident's of Vancouver's impoverished downtown east-side recently started receiving flyers from the Conservatives promising to rid Canadian streets from the plague of "The Junkies" (cue the ominous music). In a truly Reaganesque demonstration of ignorance, Health Minister and general dumbass Tony Clement has determined that Vancouver's Insite safe injection centre for drug addicts is "unethical" and the start of a "slippery slope". Mental midgets like Clement don't often let facts interfere with their thought process.

Clement's recent attack on Insite has prompted swift rebuke from those who actually know a thing or two about medicine - doctors.

“As an expression of somebody who calls himself a minister of health, it's a very unhealthy statement,” [Insite physician Dr. Gabor] Mate said.

“The repugnant aspect is his attack on the morality and ethics of human beings who are trying to work with a very difficult population.
“I mean where does he come off? Where does he appoint himself as a moral judge of professionals who he doesn't understand and knows nothing about?”

Indeed. CMA President Dr. Brian Day has also chimed in, stating that 79% of CMA members believe that programs like Insite (which promote harm reduction) work. Yet Clement and the collective braintrust (and I use that word very lightly) of the CPC continue to susbscribe to the fantasy that the scourge of drug addiction can simply be eradicated by stiffer jail terms and tougher policing.

The flyers, approved by the PMO, promised to "clean up drug crime" and went one step further, claiming that "the Liberal dark decade is over".

“Too many Canadians have seen the ugly face of drug crime,” the double-sided page sent from the local MP declares.

Hmmm. The only ugly face I see is that of Stephen Harper. Go figure.

Asbestos: Our Secret Shame

2008-08-17T09:36:00.000-07:00

Although it appears to have escaped wider attention, Canada has been playing a shameful role on the international scene with regards to the asbestos market. The Rotterdam Convention, adopted in 1998, exists to promote health and protect against the harm caused by certain chemicals and pesticides.

...the Rotterdam Convention gives countries the right to be informed about, and to refuse, extremely hazardous chemicals and pesticides.
After a rigorous scientific and legal process, a panel of experts (the chemical review committee) determines whether a particular chemical is so dangerous that it is a threat to public health and has already been banned or severely restricted by various countries.
If so, the experts call for the chemical to be placed on a list of substances that cannot be exported to another country without first obtaining the "prior informed consent" of that country. This means countries must be informed of the dangers and have the right to refuse the product.

Sounds reasonable, no? But, for the past two years, Canada has been blocking attempts by the committee to place chrysotile asbestos on that list.

Canada has been the world's third biggest exporter of asbestos in the past century. Today, asbestos is a dying industry with one last asbestos company in Quebec and about 700 asbestos miners. Yet, because of its friendly relationship with the asbestos industry and because of its concern over losing votes in Quebec, the government is destroying a convention that is desperately needed to protect people in developing countries from deadly chemicals.

Although some debate exists about the level of carcinogenicity of pure chrysotile asbestos, the Canadian Cancer Society supports the Rotterdam Convention, and has adopted the position that countries importing asbestos from Canada ought to be informed of the potential health hazards. Our opposition to adding asbestos to the PIC list puts us in some distinguished company, along with India, Krygyzstan, Iran, Peru, and the Russian Federation.

Why does our government insist on supporting the asbestos industry at the expense of some of the most impoverished labourers in the developing world? Surely federal money spent on marketing and support of the industry could be better used for retraining our remaining asbestos workers. After the Conservative's much ballyhooed Consumer Products Safety Act, our government's continued support of unfettered asbestos export is nothing short of hypocrisy, and a stain on our international reputation.

Shady Business As Usual

2008-08-12T18:03:00.000-07:00

Today, major newspapers are reporting that the Conservatives may be attempting to derail the Ethics Committee's inquiry into the In & Out scandal by discouraging key witnesses from attending.

The official agent for a Conservative candidate in Toronto told The Canadian Press on Tuesday that he and other potential witnesses were told by an organizer for the federal party as late as Monday that they didn't have to testify at the inquiry if they didn't want to.

Douglas Lowry said the organizer, whom he named as Carmen McGregor, gave the advice after he and others received summonses from the Commons ethics committee.

“We've all been told,” Mr. Lowry said.

I don't know if it's true, but it's certainly easy to believe. I only wonder how long it will take for the Conservatives to blame these allegations of impropriety on the Liberals...

[Conservative MP Gary Goodyear] said Szabo's suggestion that something is amiss is just further evidence that this is a “partisan forum” and described the hearings as an “illegal” process.

Ahhh....and there it is. Your Conservative government, ladies and gentlemen: governing from the bottom down.

Update: A good review of the Ethics Committee shadiness over at Liberal Arts & Minds.

Aborted Logic

2008-08-08T18:35:00.000-07:00

Over at Blue Like You, Joanne (having some time ago completed her "Journey"), is plenty miffed about Dr. Henry Morgantaler's challenge to abortion funding restrictions in New Brunswick. You see, in every province but New Brunswick, elective abortions are publicly funded procedures. Strange, since a full 70% of the 33 respondents to Joanne's recent Poll of Polls favour "some kind of abortion law".

Stranger still, since a recent poll of 4 of my friends showed 100% of respondents in favour of closing the books on the abortion debate. Math is hard.

Anyways, regardless of your views on the choice vs life debate, you have to marvel at the complete absence of intellect by Joanne's commenter "Ed the Hun" who wonders:

Of course the irony to me is that the left (who so FULLY supports Morgentaler) are contradicting their own stance regarding NO PRIVATE HEALTHCARE.

Isn’t Morgentaler’s clinic ‘private’ (as in not part of the publickly [sic] owned) and isn’t what he is asking no different than if someone were to open a clinic in Alberta where you might go to get a hernia repaired for example and the bill is paid by the Alberta Government?

To which Joanne dutifully replies: "Good question, Ed".

Good question?? Is she joking?? Sadly, probably not. Ed and Joanne, I know it's tough, but try to follow here. Morgantaler is fighting for public funding for abortions in NB. Currently, women who wish elective abortions must pay out-of-pocket, which he believes represents an unwarranted barrier to access. Those who support Morgantaler support his challenge against private-pay abortions. So no contradiction exists, despite the tortured logic you invoke to try to make it so. Clear? Good.

What a Rush

2008-08-02T17:13:00.000-07:00

First off, apologies for my absence the past few weeks. Work was especially busy, and had to take priority over blogging. Anyhoo, I'm back.

I've noticed some of our conservative blogging colleagues high-fiving each other over Rush Limbaugh's 20th anniversary as a conservative syndicated radio host. Let's look back at some of Rush's greatest moments.

"Have you ever noticed how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?"

"The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies."

"This is no different than what happens at the Skull and Bones initiation, and we're going to ruin people's lives over it, and we're going to hamper our military effort, and then we are going to really hammer them because they had a good time." - On the Abu Ghraib Prison Abuse Scandal (3 May 2004)

"He is exaggerating the effects of the disease. He's moving all around and shaking and it's purely an act... This is really shameless of Michael J Fox. Either he didn't take his medication or he's acting." - About Fox's Parkinson's Disease, referring to his appearance in Missouri Democratic Senate candidate Claire McCaskill's political ad (23 October 2006)

"I am addicted to prescription pain medication."

Happy 20th, douchebag.

No Intelligence....Period.

2008-07-06T14:42:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Ben Stein on his fraudumentary, "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed"! It managed to garner a full 8% on the Rotten Tomatoes Tomatometer.
Here's a sampling of the rave reviews that have been pouring in:

The movie itself is an example of design by faith and emotion rather than intelligence, defined as rationality grounded in proof. -The Chicago Sun-Times

One of the sleaziest documentaries to arrive in a very long time, Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed is a conspiracy-theory rant masquerading as investigative inquiry. -The New York Times

For a film about American freedom of expression and the necessity for open dialogue, it's hard to imagine Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed being more one-sided, narrow-minded, and intellectually dishonest. -Slant Magazine

This film is an appallingly unscrupulous example of hack propaganda and it sucketh mightily. What's more, I didn't laugh once. -The Globe & Mail

If someone believes in the Tooth Fairy, can they complain about not being taken seriously at dental school? -Jam!Movies

Oh SNAP!! Way to go Ben! Reviews like that have helped propel this ~~piece of shit~~ insightful little film past previous Academy giants like Christmas with the Kranks. Stein still has a ways to go , however, if he wants to get the kind of critical acclaim afforded to masterpieces such as Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, which pulled off an impressive 11% on the Tomatometer, or Tom Arnold's laugh-fest The Stupids, which earned a remarkable 23% rating.

Dare to dream, Ben!

UPDATE: By way of commenter Bruce and our friend Red Tory, some hilarious opening weekend numbers.

Happy Canada Day!

2008-07-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

A bit of classic Canadiana.

On The Lighter Side: Greg Giraldo

2008-06-15T14:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day!

2008-06-15T08:59:00.000-07:00

To all dads, and to one in particular.

Dr. Roy: When "Anumals Stirke"

2008-06-14T11:17:00.000-07:00

I know, I know....low hanging fruit and all. But I just couldn't help posting this latest bit of hilarity from the eternally mudfortunate Dr. Roy, on his recent trip to "leftist Berkley (sic)". What a maroon.

CBC Ices HNIC Theme Song

2008-06-06T18:50:00.000-07:00

Call me a sentimentalist, but this sucks.

Full Metal Pantsuit

2008-06-03T17:53:00.000-07:00

She fought hard. She fought long. But in the end, Hillary Clinton was simply unable to catch Barack Obama. Although her most ardent supporters will point accusatory fingers at the media and the DNC, the reality is that her campaign was flawed from the very beginning. At the outset, she suffered from the complacency and arrogance that accompanied her frontrunner status. Everyone assumed the nomination was Clinton's to lose. And lose it she did. Her greatest strength was supposed to be her experience. But Obama smartly picked up on voter disdain for eight years of Bush and Cheney, and delivered a promise of "change". His youth and inexperience suddenly became virtues. Hillary, on the other hand, was transformed into a representative of the old guard. While the Clinton campaign focussed on a "big state" strategy, Obama plugged away in smaller states, midwest states, and caucus states. His grassroots level fundraising was a resounding success. And by the time Hillary's team had figured all of this out, Super Tuesday was over, and Obama had a delegate lead he would never relinquish.

Now the only question is: will she be the veep?

Meet The World's Dumbest Democrats

2008-06-01T11:38:00.000-07:00

Some supporters of Hillary Clinton's campaign have become so rabid in their pursuit of the nomination, that they have checked their brains at the door.

As members of the Democratic National Committee's Rules and Bylaws panel voted in favor of the measures, some supporters of Hillary Clinton's White House bid rose from their seats and began to shout “Don’t steal my vote!” and “Let’s go, McCain!”

These primaries have certainly strained unity within the Democratic Party. But anyone who would consider voting Republican if Hillary fails to secure the nomination is beyond stupid. What could their rationale possibly be? Do they intend to fight against perceived misogyny by voting for an old conservative white guy? Are they so blind in their ambition that they would rather see four more years of Republican rule than support Barack Obama? These are the kind of people that neither campaign needs - the kind of people who allow spite to triumph over reason.

Bernier Put Out Of His Misery! (and ours)

2008-05-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

Maxime Bernier has officially resigned! It's the only thing he successfully accomplished during his time in cabinet. Now he can spend more quality time at biker bars. Bitchin'!

He'll be replaced by the unelected David Emerson (Foreign Affairs), and the vacuous Josee Verner (Francophonie). Emerson will only be appointed on an interim basis, so there's still hope for Rob Anders to complete the Circle of Embarassment at Foreign Affairs. Fingers crossed!!

Put Bernier Out Of His Misery!

2008-05-25T16:12:00.000-07:00

Maxime Bernier should take a lesson from Rob Anders. When you're galactically stupid, it's best to just keep your mouth shut.

Our 'mimbo' of a Foreign Affairs Minister with a penchant for dating busty biker babes has managed to stick his foot in his mouth yet again.

On Wednesday, Mr. Bernier pledged a C-17 to transport World Food Program helicopters to Bangkok for use in aiding Myanmar as it recovers from an early May cyclone. It was a promise, sources said, that surprised Defence officials because no lifters could do the job. All four C-17s are currently unavailable, two of them because they've broken down. ...It also turns out the C-17 would not likely have been able to do the job Mr. Bernier pledged it for even if it had been available.

Yep. Bernier's about as dumb as they come. Oh, and the government that once berated the Liberals for renting heavy-lift aircraft did in fact manage to secure transport for the WFP helicopters....by renting a Russian Antonov for almost 1 million dollars.

So Long, Turd Blossom

2008-05-21T21:13:00.000-07:00

Bearded wonder and NAFTA-gate blabbermouth Ian Brodie is stepping down from his post as Stephen Harper's chief asslicker. He's apparently giving up his position because of a sudden desire to teach at UWO. Uh huh.

But the decision comes just ahead of the release of an investigative report into "NAFTA-gate," the leak of sensitive diplomatic information that made headlines on both sides of the border, embarrassed Harper and his government and possibly undercut Canada's dealings with the future president.

The Star has learned that Brodie will be replaced by former Mike Harris staffer Guy Giorno. I wonder who leaked that bit of information to them?

Bush Upset Over Media Bias (Fox News Agrees)

2008-05-19T18:35:00.000-07:00

Awwwwww. The poor old Bush administration just hasn't been able to catch a break these past 8 years. From winning the war in Iraq, to saving the environment, to fixing the US economy, every major Bush accomplishment has been under-reported or distorted by the liberal media. Today, President Dorkwad W. Dicksmack has taken the fight right to the doorstep of the enemy - NBC News.

The White House issued a terse statement condemning NBC for demonstrating bias after it edited out a portion of Dubbya's evasive non-answer to Richard Engel's question about whether or not Bush's recent "appeasement" comment was directed at Barack Obama. In answer to Engel's question, Bush replied:
"You know, my policies haven't changed, but evidently the political calendar has. People need to read the speech. You didn't get it exactly right, either. What I said is that we need to take the words of people seriously."

Only the first sentence was used in the network broadcast, although the entire interview was available on the website. Frankly, NBC could have edited out Bush's entire response, and it wouldn't have made a difference. The President never answered Engel's question, and no amount of culling of his rhetorical talking points could alter that fact.

Of course, for George W Bush to accuse anyone of misrepresentation is laughable. His administration has been unconscionably deceitful, and has been enthusiastically supported by Fox News, which acts as a de facto media extension of the Republican Party. Curiously, we never heard the White House complain about shoddy journalistic standards when mass media stalwarts were slavishly beating the drum for war in Iraq. Nor have we ever heard condemnation of Fox for their ongoing assault on honest reporting.

The White House has issues with Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews setting an agenda at NBC, but gives Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity a free pass at Faux News. In typical right wing fashion, what's good for the goose isn't necessarily good for the gander. Congratulations to NBC on their response to the White House (although personally, I would have used more four-letter words in telling Bush to go fuck himself).
"Just as the White House does not participate in the editorial process at the Washington Post, the Wall Street Journal or USA Today, NBC News, as part of a free press in a free society, makes its own editorial decisions," NBC said in a statement.

The Timeless Humour of the Retarded Right

2008-05-16T18:32:00.000-07:00

Mike Huckabee, former Arkansas governor, failed Republican presidential candidate, creationist, and general fuckwad adds "merry jokester" to his list of attributes. Addressing a group of slack-jawed yokels at an NRA convention, Huckabee adlibbed this pearl in repsonse to an unexpected offstage noise:
“That was Barack Obama, he just tripped off a chair, he's getting ready to speak,” said the former Arkansas governor, to audience laughter. Somebody aimed a gun at him and he dove for the floor.”
Huh? What does that even mean? You see, aside from the general crassness of "joking" about shooting Barack Obama, Huckabee perfectly demonstrates another curious quality of right-wing humour; namely that it's not in the least bit funny.
Watch the hilarity below...and try to control your laughter.

This Horse Race Is Over

2008-05-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

From Wonkette, perhaps the most fitting metaphor for Hillary's doomed (and increasingly annoying) campaign.

JESUS, WHERE TO BEGIN: Hillary Clinton's pick to win horse racing's Kentucky Derby, Eight Belles — the only female horse in the race — finished second, broke both front ankles, and subsequently was put to death on the track. The first place horse was "Big Brown." Go nuts.

Ezra Levant: Save the Oil Companies!

2008-05-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

Uncle Ezra, acclaimed wingnut and co-founder of the failed fishwrapping Western (Sub)Standard, has this to say about the environmental tragedy in the Syncrude sesspools:
I can’t believe that 500 ducks were wasted that way. Imagine all the lost foie gras (though optimistic scientists have said five of the ducks can be saved). And it’s not just a blow to fine dining. How many Turducken connoisseurs will now have to make do with turkey stuffed just with chicken? How many restaurants will go without their signature dish, Peking Duck – another devious scheme by the Dalai Lama to embarrass the Beijing Olympics?
...Save the ducks? Sure. But I’d rather liberate Saudi women, save Russian democracy, or stop Nigerian theft of foreign aid.

Why these lofty goals need necessarily exclude responsible domestic environmental policy is anyone's guess. But I guess it's that type of advanced thinking that led the Western (Sub) Standard to such lofty heights. And one of Ezra's commenters, "Jon", nicely sums up the conservative position:

But I agree with your point. Save Canadian oil companies! Keep them profitable.
Jon 05.02.08 - 11:50 pm

Maybe Zimbabwe Can Monitor Our Next Elections?

2008-04-29T17:18:00.000-07:00

According to Emperor Harper, things are just so rotten with Elections Canada, that our own government was today unable to support a motion expressing confidence in the institution. In case it needs clarifying, the Conservatives are rapidly becoming a daily joke.
Nevermind the fact that a motion in support of a Canadian federal institution was initiated by the separatist Bloc Quebecois - bizarre in and of itself. What does it say about the petty vindictiveness and arrogance of the CPC when they declare they don't have confidence in the very body that certified their own election to government?

Ignatieff noted other parties have had their share of disputes with Elections Canada over the years and acknowledged that the agency is "not infallible." Nevertheless, he said it deserves to be respected and supported and he called the Conservatives' refusal to do so "shameful" and "dangerous."
"They are the anchor of our democracy," Ignatieff said. Harper responded by saying his party has "followed all the laws" and guidelines "that have been used for years, allowed by Elections Canada, and used by every single party."

Uh huh. So, let me get this straight. The Conservatives have no confidence in Elections Canada. In fact, they're taking them to court. Yet their defense for the In & Out scandal is that they did nothing wrong, because they followed all of the rules used by Elections Canada - the institution in which they have no confidence. I'm sure it all makes perfect sense in the magical mystery world of Stephen Harper, the Patron Saint of Perpetual Victimization.

Update: Today's Dr. Roy-ism is - wait for it - "Coonfidence", a term likely to offend everyone from English professors to Jesse Jackson.

Bill Moyers, Jeremiah Wright, and Dr. Roy's "Anericans"

2008-04-26T18:14:00.000-07:00

Watch the video clip of Bill Moyers interviewing Reverend Jeremiah Wright, and decide for yourself if Wright is the crazy, racist, unpatriotic zealot that the right-wing swiftboaters and shameless media pundits have made him out to be.
The despicable Bill O'Reilly has said of Wright: "As you may know, Reverend Wright was Barack Obama's pastor for 20 years. We now have proven beyond a reasonable doubt he is an anti-American guy and there's no question about it."
A few observations:
1. After watching the entire interview with Moyers, it is clear to me that Wright is a reasonable, well educated, and well-intentioned individual. He has a passion for preaching that has, on occasion, led him to say some incendiary things to his congregation. But he strikes me neither as racist nor as "Anti-American", whatever that's supposed to mean.
2. Why is Barack Obama being made to answer for the comments of his former pastor?
3. If some decision has been made that politicians are to be held accountable for comments made by those who endorse them, where is the media scrutiny over John Hagee? John "Free Ride" McCain has been relatively fellated by the media and by nutsacks like O'Reilly, Rove and Hannity, despite his endorsement by Hagee, a man who by all accounts is as batshit crazy as they come.

4. Finally, in true form, Dr. Roy misspells his way through another feast from Karl Rove's anus. God Bless "Anerica".

The Affidavit Gong Show

2008-04-21T12:26:00.000-07:00

If you're the legal type, the infamous affidavits can be viewed here and here. I must confess, I tried reading through them, but got bogged down pretty quickly. I guess I don't have the stomach for all that legalese. But we all get the gist of the documents: the Conservatives are accused of playing fast and loose with election campaign financing rules to the tune of just over 1 million dollars.

What I find infinitely more interesting than the nuts and bolts of the "In & Out" scam is the haphazard and completely inept way the Conservatives dealt with whole thing. It was emblematic of the way they have handled pretty much every bump in the road since they've been in office.

Running a press conference should be a pretty straightforward exercise. Here's how most people would do it:

1. Announce a press conference

2. Show up, deliver your message, field some questions from the media

3. Leave, preferably via the front door.

Here's how the Conservatives decided to play it:

1. Spend a few days dodging questions in the House of Commons

Opposition: Can we see the warrant?

James Moore/Peter VanLoan: We don't have the affidavits.

Opposition: Um ok. How 'bout the warrant?

James Moore/Peter VanLoan: I told you, we don't have the affidavits.

Opposition: W-A-R-R-A-N-T?

James Moore/Peter VanLoan: [long pause]....Adscam!

2. Finally decide to release the affidavits...but only to selected CPoC-friendly journalists

3. Act surprised that word of the private invitations spread

4. Hastily change the venue of the private spin-doctoring session at the last minute

5. Act surprised when the media finds out about the new location

6. Call the whole thing off halfway through

7. Escape down a fire exit

These are the same assclowns who are responsible for governing our nation. Collectively, we should all be very afraid...no matter what's in the affidavits.

The GST Cut: Thanks for Nothing

2008-04-20T10:56:00.000-07:00

We all know the Conservatives would sell their mothers down the river if it would buy them a few more votes. In fact, "Canada's New Government" has repeatedly abandoned supposedly "conservative" principles in order to advance a more populist agenda. Chief amongst these moves was their commitment to reducing the GST. The economic benefits of the plan were dubious at best, but it sure made for good election campaign fodder. CBC Marketplace has an interesting little piece on the much ballyhooed GST cut, and who the real beneficiaries are (hint: it's not you or me).
*Skip to about 02:50 in the video above for the GST story.

Breaking: Blogging Tory Solves ALL Moral Dilemmas!

2008-04-15T15:35:00.000-07:00

Hey leftards, ever wonder why you spend so much time obsessing over easy moral issues like abortion? So does Blogging Tory Chris! Chris likes wearing toques. Check out the fancy one he's wearing in the picture above (he's the one on the left, standing next to the famous number 4!).

Anyways, Chris tells us all a thing or two about a thing or two in a post called Right is Right.

Right and wrong are not subjective, relative notions. They are what they are. Right is right and wrong is wrong - regardless of whether or not you agree.

BOO-YAH! It's all so simple. Right is right. And wrong is wrong. And if you agree with Chris, you're right. And if you disagree, you're wrong. And since abortion is wrong, pro-choice lefties are wrong. Because killing is wrong. Unless it's for a war. Then it's right. But only if the war is right. Not shitty wars like Vietnam or Korea. But good wars like the war on terror or Dubbya Dubbya Two. Oh and capital punishment. That's probably right too. Because murder is wrong. And the punishment fitting the crime is right. And because the left thinks it's wrong. The left also believes in moral relativism, which is wrong. But the left is usually wrong, and the right is usually right. Right? Right.

If none of this makes any sense to you, Chris implores you to "think about it". After all, why should he do all the heavy lifting?

Yes folks, welcome to the blissfully logic-free world of the Blogging Tories. Where right is right. Wrong is wrong. And dumb is dumb.

As Transparent as a Brick Wall

2008-04-13T21:33:00.000-07:00

When John Manley pressed the Harper government to be more transparent about the mission in Afghanistan, I don't think he meant like this.

Federal lawyers are attempting to shut down an investigation by the military police complaints commission into the handling of Taliban prisoners captured by Canadian troops in Afghanistan.

Big surprise. The Conservatives, who campaigned on promises of accountability and transparency, have been the most secretive, media-averse government in recent history. It begs the question: what are they so afraid of? Such tactics only serve to alienate them from voters, feed the suspicions of those who doubt their motives, and prevent them from breaking their own glass ceiling in the opinion polls.

Clinton's Tortured Logic: Part II

2008-04-10T11:49:00.000-07:00

On seating the Michigan delegates.

Part I here.

Dr. Roy: "Unand Thruw Mudfortunately"

2008-04-06T09:52:00.000-07:00

Another howler from the perenially hapless and apparently borderline illiterate Dr. Roy (emphasis added).

The grits seem to have no policies and so their only tactic is to try and bring upscandal. They forget their own recent and ongoing corruption. Unand thruw mudfortunately for the grits Canadians see them for what they are.

WTF?? That's gonna be my phrase of the week!

And presuming the good doctor is trying to squeeze out a thought on mudslinging, it's not like he's ever done anything like that.

Update: It seems that Dr. Roy has now edited his post and translated it into English for the rest of us. As is par for the course for HM Knuckle Draggers' blogs, the original post has simply "disappeared". I should have taken a screencap...

Update 2: A big thank-you to our friend Red Tory for supplying the sublime photoshop image above!

Heston Surrenders His Weapon

2008-04-05T23:27:00.000-07:00

Charlton Heston, cold and dead at 84.

Hillary-ous: The Tortured Logic of the Clinton Campaign

2008-04-02T18:11:00.000-07:00

From Daily Kos:

Clinton's campaign has one premise -- victory at all costs. If that requires sundering the Democratic Party, so be it. She doesn't care. Therefore, there is no logic that applies. The popular vote only matters if it favors her. The pledged delegate lead only matters if it favors her. Michigan and Florida only matter if it favors her. States only matters if they vote for her. Groups and communities in this country only matters if they supports her. Super delegates only matter if they cast their lot with her.

The central problem is this. Barring a double-digit sweep of every remaining state, Clinton will finish the primaries behind in the pledged delegate count. Still, she has argued that she should remain in the race because the votes of the people matter.

"There are some folks saying we ought to stop these elections." "I don't think we believe that in America," she said. "The more people that have a chance to vote, the better it is for our democracy." - Hillary Clinton
at a recent campaign speech.

However, her senior campaign advisor Harold Ickes has confirmed that the campaign will try to woo super-delegates even if she loses the popular vote. So the campaign is at once trying to convince people that:

1. The primaries should go on because the popular vote matters.

2. If the popular vote favours Obama, it should be overturned by superdelegates.

To even a casual observer, this is an absurdly hypocritical position. But unfortunately for Clinton, it's the only one she has left. Personally, I think she should stick around for the upcoming primaries. Her campaign has already invested enough time and money. She will likely win Pennsylvania by a reasonable margin, but at the end of the day she will probably not be able to catch Obama in pledged delegates. Both Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean have indicated that they want this race to be over by July 1st, the obvious implication being that whoever is behind in pledged delegates at that point should drop out. This would make the the most sense, and would avoid the discomfort of forcing superdelegates to be the ultimate arbiters of a supposedly democratic nomination process. It would likely also spare Clinton the task of explaining to people why their vote was so important in the spring, and less so in the fall. Again from Kos:

So we have a campaign that is losing by every metric imaginable. And now that campaign says that it doesn't care if she's losing by every metric imaginable. Her campaign will carry on regardless. No one can say that Clinton doesn't play to win. In some circumstances, that is admirable. The only problem is that she already lost.

Frank Hilliard: Hey Laydeeez....

2008-03-30T19:51:00.000-07:00

Meet Frank Hilliard. Bald. White. Blogging Tory. Self-described ladies' man:

I've worked for women, I've married women, I enjoy the company of women. OK, ladies, I'm your guy.

In fact Frank is such a friend to women, he shares his carefully considered views on women and security with the blogosphere, in a post entitled Women and Security, call a Man.

[Women] really favour anti-gun laws, including the current Firearms Act which prohibits the kinds of small calibre weapons women used to carry. Your plan is to call 911 and wait. For what? Well, for a man usually) to show up with a gun. Do you see anything wrong with this?Don't you feel a little embarrassed by leaving the protection of one man(your husband) and then calling for the protection of another (nice Mr. Policeman)? And to keep both you and him happy and free, you are quite prepared to call on American Men to protect you.

Well, Canadian ladies, are you suitably ashamed of yourselves? Your collective pansy-ass approach to security has let down your biggest advocate and heartthrob, Frank Hillier. How can you ever redeem yourselves in his eyes? What's this? Frank has the answer!!

So what should you do to change my opinion?
1. Join the National Firearms Association
2. Get your PAL
3. Write a letter to your MP asking him (or her) to help you get a Type III Authorization to Carry licence so you can carry your restricted weapon around with you.

It's hard to know where to even begin taking apart this vacuous, condescending, paternalistic claptrap. So I won't waste my time doing it. But Frank's 3 steps to changing his opinion is by far the most absurdly hilarious part of his post. Why anyone on earth should care to change the addlebrained opinion of this champion luddite is beyond me. But damn, is he ever smooove with the laydeeez....

Postscript: Just in case anyone cares, this was posted at about 8:40pm PST, a good 3 hrs before Canadian Cynic's civility challenge is due to begin (though I hardly think that 'luddite' qualifies as uncivil anyways).

Update: It seems Frank's unintentionally hilarious musings have also caught the attention of resurrected blogger and friend Red Tory. Click here to check out his dissection of Frank's thoughts on "liberalism" and "conservatism" (such as they may be).

Conservatives Scripting Calls to Radio Shows

2008-03-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you're a brain-dead, mindless zombie that's incapable of independent thought?

1. You vote Conservative.

2. You drool a lot.

3. You call radio shows and read off a list of talking points prepared for you by Dear Leader.

Yes, Conservative Party headquarters has mined a new low (or perhaps merely acknowledged the existing low in the IQ of their supporters) by providing grassroots supporters with lists of talking points and party spin to pass off as their own 'thoughts' on call-in radio shows.

Surf the party website. Type in your postal code. Click on a topic you'd like to discuss on the radio. And the website spits out the times, phone numbers, and names of local talk shows to call — along with a handy list of good things to say about the Conservatives and bad things to say about their opponents. The website includes similar advice for letter-writers to newspapers.

No word if the website also includes instructions on how to dial a telephone, or if CPC supporters are left to figure that out all by themselves.

To Anyone Who Still Thinks Hillary Can Win...

2008-03-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

Wake up and smell the numbers. Based on current polling stats (and yes, I know these can change), Chris Bowers does some Ultimate Delegate Math. It's well worth the read. Basically, Bowers summarizes the 5 most likely scenarios going forward - including seating the FLA and MI delegates - and crunches the numbers...and they still don't look good for the former First Lady of Bosnian Sniper Fire (more on that later).

Those are some pretty big bullets to dodge, even for someone who claims to have dodged sniper fire in Bosnia. Turns out....ehhhh....not so much. From a speech she gave just this week:

"I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base."
--Hillary Clinton, speech at George Washington University, March 17, 2008.

Her travelling companions on this harrowing trip to hell? Sinbad, Sheryl Crow, and a 15 year old Chelsea Clinton. Sinbad himself has stated that the scariest part of the trip was deciding "where to eat". Michael Dobbs at the Washington Post does the rest of the fact-checking. And here's the video evidence of Clinton's Rambo-esque escape to the base on her arrival. Ready on Day One.