A Few Tears Ago...

Well, Dr Roy is at it again. The man whose blog is a full-time shrine to Oberbefehlsleiter Harper is concerned that Jon Stewart is a little too partisan. And he takes care to let us know that he doesn't find Stewart all that funny. Shocking, that. Presumably, he prefers the comedy stylings of washed-up 80's SNL reject Dennis Miller. If you're reading, Roy, here are a few observations:

• It's Breitbart, dude, not "Breibart". If you're going to cite a source, no matter how rancid, do them the courtesy of spelling their name correctly.
• "That holly wood is very liberal is no surprise". Hollywood, the town, is a single word that starts with a capital H. Holly Wood is a porn star. She may well be liberal, but I really wouldn't know.
• "It's hilarious that stewart said he wanted more civility in public discourse , when his show is just an obamessiah worshipping anti GOP commercial." OK, Roy. Let me explain this to you. Stewart is a comedian. He doesn't claim to be a political pundit, and he regularly refers to TDS as a "fake news show". It's his job to be irreverent. So there is no hypocrisy or contradiction for him to suggest that those people who claim to be pundits, demonstrate some civility rather than just yelling talking points at each other. Secondly, I doubt you have any problems with execrable hacks like Hannity, Limbaugh, and O'Reilly running hyper-partisan GOP-worshipping, anti-Democrat commercials, do you? And lastly, Stewart pokes fun at idiots on both sides of the political spectrum. It's not his fault that most idiots gravitate to the GOP.
• Read my lips: "S-P-E-L-L-C-H-E-C-K-E-R". That is all.
  

The Base Is Not Amused

Wingnut.

Gunnutz.

Oh my. What will happen when the Gunnut Base loses patience with the Wingnut Government? Grab some popcorn and find out!

Limbaugh: Gordon Brown Will Get Anal Poisoning

Sweet mother of God. Certified whackjob and unofficial leader of the GOP, Rush Limbaugh, mused on air that President Obama might give British PM Gordon Brown "anal poisoning". Now this is a diagnosis with which I'm not too familiar, but the image alone is more than disturbing. Also, what the hell does it even mean?



Limbaugh: “But the slobbering [over Barack Obama], the slobbering… this guy, folks I’m telling ya, if he keeps this up throughout the G20, Gordon Brown will come down with anal poisoning and may die from it.”

That will surely be an entertaining 911 call. But honestly, is Rush Limbaugh really the person upon whom the Republican party wants to rebuild? If so, Democrats can rest easy.

Senator Duffy Gives Speech, Stuffs Face

In case you've been wondering what Senator Fatty McDildo's been up to lately, he's been out earning his public salary by shilling for small town jerkwater Conservative candidates - that's what!

“I think senators work harder than we journalists ever gave them credit for,” he said, chuckling.

We journalists? Ho ho ho ho, that lardy clown, pretending he used to be a journalist, when we all know he was actually a comedian! Back then, he used to make funny jokes like this:

"I said 'I'm not much of a partisan.' [Duffy] said 'We've got lots of partisans, we don't need any more partisans"

But that was back when times were simple, men were men, and trans-fats were all the rage. Nowadays, the good Senator Duffy is being paid by Joe Q Taxpayer, and is rolling himself from town to town spreading non-partisan messages like this:

“The Conservative Party is not your grandfather’s party, it is the party that will take Canada into the future — you have many achievements to be proud of. [...] "What kind of work do I think Michael Ignatieff is doing? He works very hard and he is doing the work of three people — Larry, Moe and Curly,” said Duffy in a series of rapid-fire jokes. “What is the difference between a member of the NDP and a Liberal? About $500 of suit material,” went another.

Ha ha ha ha! Zinnng! Curiously, that's also the difference between Duffy and a normal-sized human being. But I digress. The point is that (pound for pound) Mike Duffy is the funniest Senator in Canada.

Supporting The Troops; SDA Style

Over at Kate's Sociopathic Social Club, the same assorted armchair commandos who were glad to label fellow Canadians as "Taliban supporters" a while back are having a hard time getting too worked up about Fox's Greg Gutfeld's thoughtless and decidedly un-funny mockery of our Armed Forces.

One commenter, "Phil", who describes himself as a serving member of the Forces tries to interject some personal perspective.

As another serving member, an infantry corporal no less, who's lost many friends overseas, I can tell you that I'm not a person who makes insulting jokes about Americans. I'm not a clown who would vote for funding cuts to the CF. I'm not from Toronto, and I don't live in Toronto. And I do have the nerve to bitch and complain and in fact, be disgusted at the Fox talking-heads. Have you risked your life under fire to bail out American troops? If you have then I'm guessing from your comment that you have a couple of screws loose. If you haven't, then maybe you should talk to some of our lads who have. They'll sort you out right quick. To Kate: If you have never had to put your arm around a grieving father who had his son blown up with only melted and charred plastic pieces of his tactical vest left around a burning LAV, then you could never understand how incredibly despicable and hurtful these comments could be. I pray that you may some day gain some sensitivity.[...]And yes, I have indeed watched the show before, and I have indeed watched Fox News before. I'll lighten up when I feel it's necessary. Now's not the time. I guess I'm with the liberals on this one. Proud to be agreeing with them on this matter.

The response from compassionate conservative "Alex" comes quickly:

Nice appeal to emotion, Phil. Very touching. I shed a tear, I really did.[...] I'll sacrifice a goat that you may some day grow a pair. I'm not sure how you managed to stay in the infantry long enough to get your second hook, if this is the kind of shit that gets under your skin.

Now "Alex" may sound like a disrespectful asshole, but he probably has a yellow ribbon stuck to the back of his pickup truck. So I guess his troop-supportin' credentials are up to snuff. Stephen Taylor must be proud.

Accountability? Never Heard of It...

According to the CPC Lexicon:

Transparency = "pathological hyperpartisan smearmongering"

MPs usually use these statements, called Standing Order 31s, to pay tribute to someone or an event in their riding. But Peterborough Tory MP Dean Del Mastro asked in his Feb. 25 statement: "Why does the Liberal Leader love to flip-flop? When will the Liberals find real leadership?"

Good question, Dean! Here's another. Why should anyone be forced to endure character assassination from a former used car salesman who looks like he ate his last ten customers?

According to the CPC Lexicon:

Accountability = Fuck you!

The Tories promised in their 2006 campaign to set up a "parliamentary budget authority" that would ensure honest budgeting.[...]But Mr. Page's office has been dogged by pressures that could cut its profile. Ottawa has failed to deliver the full $2.8-million in promised funding, giving him less than two-thirds of that.[...]He's also chafing at the Tories' decision to make his office report to a bureaucrat - the Parliamentary Librarian - instead of directly to MPs and senators.

Sounds we should probably pre-appoint someone to oversee the inevitable federal inquiry into where all the stimulus money went...you know, just to get the ball rolling.

Taliban Steve

Tories warm to Taliban talks

Uh-oh. I guess now we can expect apologies from Asshole, Dicksmack, Jerkwad, Fucko, Racist Ho, and all the other dimwitted Blogging Tories who happily labelled Jack Layton as "Taliban Jack" when he suggested doing the same back in 2006. Or perhaps they can start calling the PM "Taliban Steve". Either way.

What Could Possibly Go Wrong...

...with Deficit Jim getting a 3 billion dollar cheque to do with as he pleases?

As an aside, I wonder if it troubles folks in the Wingnut world that their former Reformers are now advocates for handing out billions of taxpayer dollars without oversight or public accountability. Just askin'.

Praying For Obama To Fail

Amidst all of the celebrations surrounding Barack Obama's inauguration, there are a few yahoos offering a dissenting opinion. Enter Joseph Farah. When he's not busy grooming his 80's porn star moustache, Farah oversees the intellectual sinkhole called WorldNetDaily.

When the rule of men conflicts with the commands of God, the Bible leaves no doubt about where we should stand. That's why I do not hesitate today in calling on godly Americans to pray that Barack Hussein Obama fail in his efforts to change our country from one anchored on self-governance and constitutional republicanism to one based on the raw and unlimited power of the central state.

Think he's done being an asshole? Think again.

I want Obama to fail because his agenda is 100 percent at odds with God's. Pretending it is not simply makes a mockery of God's straightforward Commandments.

The WorldNetDaily: It's what you read when your age exceeds your IQ.

There's Probably No God...

Comedy writer Ariane Sherine, Richard Dawkins and the British Humanist Association have breathed fresh air into the London public transit system by organizing a donor funded campaign to plaster public buses with the slogan "There's probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life."


Of course, with every breath of fresh air comes a whiff of stupid. Enter Stephen Green, national director of Christian Voice, who uses said voice to object to the ads on the grounds that they lack supporting evidence. Seriously.

"There is plenty of evidence for God, from people's personal experience, to the complexity, interdependence, beauty and design of the natural world. But there is scant evidence on the other side, so I think the advertisers are really going to struggle to show their claim is not an exaggeration or inaccurate..."

Wow. I don't know if there's a God or not, but if he exists, Stephen Green must surely be his dumbest creation.

RMR: Commemorative Tony Clement Gravy Boat

Celebrate the spirit of ineffectiveness! (h/t Mo)

Another Day, Another Lie

Would you buy a car from these two guys? If you did, it would almost certainly be an oil-burning gas guzzler. Over the past few years, the Conservatives have embarrassed Canada repeatedly on the international stage when it comes to their record on the environment.

Rona Ambrose - STEEEERIKE ONE!

John Baird - STEEEERIKE TWO!!

Lawrence Cannon - here's the wind-up....

We made a commitment to implement fuel consumption regulations for the 2011 model year that are benchmarked against a stringent, dominant North American standard, and we are keeping our word," Mr. Cannon said on Jan. 17, 2008.

And the pitch....

The federal government appears to have missed a key legislated benchmark to bring in new fuel-efficiency standards that will help Canada reduce greenhouse-gas emissions. Moreover, the failure of the federal government to meet the deadline could end up costing the beleaguered auto industry money and lost jobs.

STEEEEEEEEEEERIKE THREE!!!!!!

Another promise made, another promise broken. But hey, at least they're open and accountable, right?

After the October election, Mr. Cannon was replaced by John Baird, who moved over from the environment portfolio. A spokesman for Mr. Baird said yesterday that Environment Canada was now the lead department on the file. Environment Minister Jim Prentice was not immediately available to comment.

We Need Breathing Room!

And he got it.

Had the GG denied King Steve his prorogation, she would likely have angered many wingnuts, some of whom already see her position as a relic of the monarchy and wish to do away with it. And although her decision to continue with tradition and rubber-stamp the PM's request will assuage their fears, it actually lends some creedence to their views in a roundabout sort of way. Our system of government has operated with the implicit assumption that no Prime Minister would put the GG in the difficult position of having to rigorously interpret the constitution and actually utilize her royal prerogative in a meaningful way. Of course, Harper is a dick, and had no problem testing the will of the GG in order to save his own job. By acquiescing, Michaelle Jean has kept with tradition, but has unwittingly become complicit in Harper's political gamesmanship. And if the GG does not intervene at a time when the Prime Minister is attempting to misuse the constitution for his own political gain, then truly what function does she serve? In my opinion, her decision has set a dangerous precedent. Only time will tell.

Flying Low: Another Miserable Week For McCain

Let's take a quick look at the McCain campaign's latest greatest hits, shall we?

Lipstick On A Pig: The RNC disclosed that it spent $150,000 of campaign money (donated by Joe The Idiots everywhere) to buy clothes for Sarah Palin and her family at Saks Fifth Avenue and Nieman Marcus. And the highest paid person in the entire McCain campaign? Amy Strozzi (Palin's make-up stylist) who was paid $22,000 for just 2 weeks work in October, more than McCain's own chief foreign policy advisor Randy Scheunemann.

Crazy Runs In The Family: John McCain's 66 year old baby brother Joe decided to call 911 to complain about traffic.

Operator: 911 state your emergency

McCain: It's not an emergency but do you know why on one side at the damn drawbridge of 95traffic is stopped for 15 minutes and yet traffic's coming the other way?

Operator: Sir, are you calling 911 to complain about traffic? (pause)

McCain: "(Expletive) you." (caller hangs up)

The 911 operator then called McCain back and left a message admonishing him for misusing the emergency service, after which he actually called 911 back to complain again!

The New "Face Of The Campaign":

By now, everyone is aware of the sad, sordid tale of self-mutilating wingnut Ashley Todd. Cruising around Pittsburgh, this dopey McCain campaign worker claimed to have been assaulted by a black Obama supporter who carved a (backwards) "B" into her face. The B, as it turns out, stands for Bullshit. After receiving sympathy calls from both John McCain and Sarah Palin, Todd admitted the whole story was made up. She is now behind bars herself. And, surprise, surprise...the McCain campaign may have been involved in pushing the whole hoax onto the media.

One wonders whether old man McCain even wants to win this thing anymore...

Why Do French People Hate Quebecers?

Everyone's favourite Mr. Belvedere lookalike and corpulent xenophobe Jacques Parizeau is back in the news. Proving that he has his finger on the pulse of Canada's burning issues, he wonders why do French people hate Quebecers so much?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy a bowl of Liberty Onion Soup and a plate of Freedom Fries.

RoboGOP: McCain's New Smear Tactic

So while Grampy McSame was busy telling Bob Schieffer, Barack Obama and millions of Americans that he doesn't really care about an "old washed-up terrorist", his campaign started autodialing said Americans with the following automated message:

Hello. I'm calling for John McCain and the RNC because you need to know that Barack Obama has worked closely with domestic terrorist Bill Ayers, whose organization bombed the U.S. capitol, the Pentagon, a judge's home and killed Americans. And Democrats will enact an extreme leftist agenda if they take control of Washington. Barack Obama and his Democratic allies lack the judgment to lead our country. This call was paid for by McCain-Palin 2008 and the Republican National Committee at 202-863-8500.

Charming, no? It combines the dickishness of character assassination with the douchebaggery of telemarketing. A winning combination for sure!

You Stay Classy, Luc Harvey.

When the going gets tough, the Conservatives get ugly. Take Luc Harvey. The Conservative incumbent in Louis-Hébert decided to crash a Bloc event in the riding and heckle Gilles Duceppe to the point that the RCMP were asked to move him out of the way.

When asked to explain his less than dignified behaviour, Harvey responded with typical CPC arrogance:

“I'm in my riding here. This is the riding of Louis-Hébert, and this is Luc Harvey's riding,” he said.

Luc Harvey's riding?? In 2006, this petulant cretin won by less than one fifth of one percent, earning a whopping 34.22% of the vote. This time around, predictions are that the Bloc will re-take the riding. Harvey would do well to keep these things in mind as he stomps around, claiming ownership of Louis-Hébert, and generally acting like an ass.

Jeepers Joe-6-Pack, She's A Hockey Mom Doggonit!

Judging from the amount of right-wing self-fellating going on today, I have to conclude the following about what Republicans want in a VP.

A VP should:

• Wink a lot
• Enunciate poorly
• Use empty catch phrases and blue collar jingo in every sentence
• Use quotes out of context
• Be able to recite talking points, while demonstrating little to no understanding of issues
  
• Lapse into incoherency from time to time

But don't take it from me. Let's hear it straight from Winky Mainstreet:

"That is not so, but because that's just a quick answer, I want to talk about, again, my record on energy versus your ticket's energy ticket, also."

Well said, also.

"One thing that Americans do at this time, also, though, is let's commit ourselves just every day American people, Joe Six Pack, hockey moms across the nation, I think we need to band together and say never again. Never will we be exploited and taken advantage of again by those who are managing our money and loaning us these dollars."

Yes! Damn you, people lending us these...dollars. Doggone it, what'chya need is a team of mavericks who, with, reformin' and also rejiggimifyin' the whole White House thingy. Also! *wink*

Harper "Appears" On Countdown With Keith Olbermann!

Funny little video of Keith Olbermann noticing that not all Junior Nitwits Tories are "standing up" for Canada.

My Eyes!! Ze Gogglez...Zey Do Nussing!!

Sweet Mother of God. This woman is borderline retarded.



Bailout healthcare economy stuff with jobs maverick reform and tax maverick Wall Street things and stuff maverick. She talk real good-like!