Mike McGuire: A Sadist with a Heart

"I understand that torture isn't something that's to be all that fond of."

So says Mike McGuire in one of his more feculent "dispatches" from the Socialist Gulag. Good for you Mike, good for you.

Gee, I thought all along that waterboarding doesn't work, that roughing up terrorist scum isn't the way to interogate them because it's counter-productive. Well, it appears the bleeding hearts were wrong...

Well, Mikey, I don't suppose it would do any good to point out that in fact there has never been any evidence that torture is an effective means of eliciting valid information. Or that many people more enlightened than you (and I'm guessing that's a pretty big list) have dismissed it as unreliable. Or that lack of efficacy is not the only thing that "bleeding hearts" have against the practice of physically and psychologically abusing another human being. Seems ethics, a basic sense of human decency...and...oh yeah..the law are hardly the types of things one has time to ponder when shrieking for the heads of one's enemies from the chilly depths of the socialist gulag.

In case you're wondering, Mike is referring to a recent admission that the CIA used waterboarding on an Al Qaeda prisoner, and "broke" him in 35 seconds. What the "dispatch" fails to mention is that the CIA was so proud of their accomplishments in this regard, they decided to destroy the video evidence. And as Wonkette observes:

Um, hey, buddy? If it only takes about 30 seconds of non-torture-y waterboarding to break a senior terrorist dude, then either waterboarding is way more torture-iffic than you really know, or the guy’s such a pussy you probably didn’t need to torture him in the first place to get the information out of him. I’m just sayin’.

But maybe my heart doth bleed too much. Maybe we should torture them all! And since Mike is so convinced that these kind of techniques don't cause "death or long term physical damage", maybe we could start with him! If the CIA strapped a car battery to his genitalia, he'd probably fess up to the JFK assassination. And 5 bucks says he'd do it in less than 35 seconds. Any takers?

Update: Courtesy of Canadian Cynic, turns out that Mike's shining example of waterboarding success is a little less than advertised. The CIA found Zubaydah was "certifiably insane" and knew "nothing about terrorist organizations". No soup for you, Mike!

The Gospel According to KKKate: More Guns!

Just when you think the Blogging Tories couldn't get any dumber, they manage to defy expectations. The latest blast of douchebaggery comes from Small Dead Brains where Kate has managed to seize upon the recent spate of gun violence in American churches.

Normally, after a shooting spree, the conversation between a normal person and a Blogging Tory goes something like this:

Normal Person: This is tragic.

BT: What's tragic is that the Communist Fiberals won't let us defend ourselves by carrying concealed automatic weapons.

Normal Person: Don't you think it's a little dangerous to have everyone walking around with concealed weapons?

BT: Fuck you, leftard.

Normal Person: Umm, that's not really an argument.

BT: Heil Hitler.

Normal Person: What did you say??

BT: HAROOJAHHH

Normal Person: That's not even a word.

After the recent tragic shootings the the YWAM in Arvada and the New Life Church in Colorado Springs (not to mention the mall shooting in Omaha), I was hopeful that usual right-wing cries for further weaponization would be muted by the obvious absurdity of suggesting that ordinary churchgoers should carry concealed weapons and use them to blow away potential attackers in the middle of their congregation. Absurdity be damned, says Kate - arm 'em all!

Referring to a story about Pastor Boyd praising a security guard for shooting the New Life attacker, Kate starts off by complaining:

Here's a detail they may have left out of your morning news. I know they left it out of mine.

Oooooh, those sneaky moonbats at....CNN. Trying to slip that story by you by posting it on their website...how frightfully devious of them! And she ends with this steaming turd of anti-intellectual tripe:

When you legislate gun-free zones, only the mass murderers have guns.

The very thought of Blogging Tories and SDA commenters running around with concealed weapons should make us all profoundly scared. Because when you arm the Blogging Tories, only the idiots have guns.

Worst Courtroom Sketch. Ever.

"Smiling Confident Bonds in Court", proclaims the Toronto Star. Now, I'm no artist, and I don't mean to nitpick, but seriously. I don't like Barry Bonds, and even I feel bad for the guy after seeing the way he was sketched. He looks like some kind of crystal meth inspired Stan Lee nightmare. Or maybe Roadblock from GI Joe (who coincidentally was probably also on steroids).

A Day Without Illegal Immigrants

Can you imagine such a thing? Republican Presidential candidate Tom Tancredo (R) can. In fact, he salivates over the prospect. In 2006, Tan-cretin (the space cadet in the picture above) published an article in the National Review Online (where else?) in which he mused about the white anglo-saxon utopia that would undoubtedly blossom in the absence of all the dirty illegal aliens.

Said Tancredo,

If the “Day-Without-an-Immigrant Boycott” had been held a year earlier on May 8, 2005, and illegal alien Raul Garcia-Gomez had stayed home and did notwork or go to a party that day, Denver police officer Donnie Young would still be alive and Garcia-Gomez would not be
sitting in a Denver jail awaiting trial. If the boycott had been held on July 1, 2004, Justin Goodman of Thornton, Colorado, would still be riding his motorcycle and Roberto Martinez-Ruiz would not be in prison for killing him and then fleeing the scene while driving on a suspended license.
...Our highway patrol and county sheriffs would have about far fewer DUI arrests and there would be a dramatic decline in rollovers of vanloads of illegal aliens on I-70 and other
highways.

Hard to argue with solid numbers like "about far fewer" and "a dramatic decline". Tancredo went on to enlighten us on the effect of illegal immigrants on the construction industry.

On a Day Without an Illegal Immigrant, thousands of workers and small contractors in the construction industry across Colorado would have their jobs back, the jobs given to illegal workers because they work for lower wages and no benefits. (On the other hand, if labor unions continue signing up illegal workers, no one will be worrying about Joe Six-Pack’s loss. Sorry, Joe, but you forgot to tell your union business agent that your job is as important as his is.)

So, in case you weren't keeping score, if illegal aliens disappeared, Colorado streets would be safer, good ol' boys would still be alive, and "Joe-Six Pack" would be consuming said product on a job site instead of at home. Oh and one more small thing - Tom Tancredo (R) wouldn't have an elaborate entertainment complex added onto his home.

When Tancredo hired a construction crew to transform his drab basement into a high-tech pleasure den in October 2001, however, he did not express concern that only two of its members spoke English. Nor did he bother to check the workers’ documentation to see if they were legal residents of the United States. Had Tancredo done so, he would have learned that most of the crew consisted of undocumented immigrants, or “criminal aliens” as he likes to call them. Instead, Tancredo paid the crew $60,000 for its labor and waited innocently for the completion of his elaborate entertainment complex.

Whoops! Maybe Tancredo can fall back on his old excuse for weaselling out of serving in Vietnam - mental illness.

A La Prochaine, Red Tory!

A quick entry today, to bid thanks and farewell to one our most prolific Libloggers, Red Tory. Yesterday, to the surprise of many, RT hung up the proverbial towel (at least temporarily). Real life, it appears, has a strange way of creeping up on us all!

I think it's fair to say that Red represented some of the best in Canadian political blogging. Thoughtful, erudite, and always engaging of his many commenters, his was always an active and entertaining forum for discussion.

From my own tiny corner of the blogosphere, I wish him all the best and hope to see him back in the near future.

Wajid Khan Is Sleazy....I'm Shocked.

Is anyone out there particularly surprised that Wajid Khan was today charged with illegal election spending by the Elections Commissioner? Yes, Khan was a member of the Liberal Party at the time. But he has since crossed the floor and has found a happy home in the CPC, where we all still await his magical mid-east report.

Said Stephen Harper of the accused,

"The more we worked together, the more both of us began to realize that, politically, we have an awful lot in common...In time, it became clear to me that Mr. Khan would be quite at home in the Conservative Party."

Indeed.

I Am Better Than Your Kids

In the midst of all the political goings-on at the present time, I thought today I would take the high road (or the low one, depending on how you look at it), and post a link to one of the funnier websites I've come across recently.

If you've ever been annoyed by excessive children's art at your place of work, this site is for you.