Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Senators Unveil New Logo

RC Press (Anaheim) - Following their predictable Stanley Cup loss to the Anaheim Ducks, the jubilant Ottawa Senators held a press conference to officially unveil their new logo. Proud owner Eugene Melnyck held up the new jersey for photographers, declaring that "a new era" in Senators hockey had dawned. After choking in their 10th playoff appearance, the perenially underacheiving club decided to take official ownership of their most enduring characteristic. The new logo features a stylized male figure making the international sign for choking, surrounded by Senator red, and encircled in a striking black border. The remainder of the uniform remains unchanged.

Said a beaming GM John Muckler, "This is sort of a tip of the hat to all our fans. Without them, we wouldn't have been able to choke on such a consistent basis. But they've always believed in our ability to choke, and they pay good money to see it happen. This is just our way of saying 'thanks'."

Head Coach Bryan Murray echoed the sentiment. "You know, I was getting tired of hearing about all these other teams that were supposedly better at choking. Sure, you could make a case for the 1980's Blue Jays, or the Buffalo Bills. But I think everyone here has always felt deep down that we could choke better and more often than any of those other guys. Changing the logo shows that this front office is committed to going that extra mile."

For their part, the players were mostly relieved. Defenceman Wade Redden modeled the new jersey, as well as his new Callaway fairway driver. "I have to admit, I was getting a bit nervous," conceded Redden of his team's early round successes. "Some of the guys were starting to think we might actually win this thing! But I just told everyone to calm down, and play our game. Once we got in that groove, the choking came easy".

Grinning widely, captain Daniel Alfredsson had a message for hated rivals, the Toronto Maple Leafs. "Every time we played the Leafs, they used to tell us that we could never beat them in the playoffs. Sometimes we even heard that crap from the Sabres. But tonight, here in Anaheim, we proved that we can choke against anyone, not just the Leafs. If that doesn't shut them up, I don't know what will".

Note: Apologies for the paucity of posts in the last little while. Its been an incredibly busy week. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back to it soon.