Saturday, August 11, 2007

Arresting Developments

OK, here are three of the weirder stories from the weekend.

1. The day after they gathered information about the alleged killing of a Coptic Christian by police, two members of a Toronto-based Christian rights group were arrested in Cairo.
"They are being targeted. They are trying to kill our branch in Egypt," said Nader Fawzy, the founder of the Middle East Christian Association (MECA). (source: The Toronto Star)

Bottom Line: I have no idea if Mr. Fawzy's allegations are true, but am I the only one who finds it weird that his Christian organization is called MECA?

2. A suspected drunk driver pulled over in Walkerton, ON tried to avoid arrest by drinking contact lens cleaning fluid and eating his socks.
As the officer prepared breath test equipment, the suspect grabbed a contact lens case in his car. He then drank the solution, ate one of his lenses and tried to eat parts of his shirt and socks. Police eventually had to try and undress the man to stop him eating all his clothes.
Must be the tainted water...

3. Think eating your socks is weird? Try having sex with a goat!
Charging papers say a witness saw 63-year-old Arthur Lawton having sex with a goat May 8th in a barn at Eatonville's Pioneer Farm Museum where he worked. Lawton said he was trying to milk the goat.
The strangest thing is that Lawton isn't the first person in Pierce County to take a fancy to our four-legged friends. In fact, he's not even the second. (Prior victims were a pit-bull and a horse). Ouch.

Monday, August 6, 2007

No Child Left Behind

If you've ever felt that no child is too young to be a partisan conservative political hack, then author Katharine DeBrecht has a series of books for you!

How about "Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed"











Too scary? Try "Help! Mom! The Ninth Circuit Nabbed The Nativity"











Too religious? Then surely "Help! Mom! Hollywood is In My Hamper" is right for your little boy or girl.












DeBrecht is a mother of three and a member of the South Carolina Federation of Republican Women. In an interview at intellectualconservative.com (yes, the oxymoron is glaring), she declares that "liberals are a rather unhappy lot" who "don't have a sense of humour". Apparently unfazed by the absurdity of that statement, she then goes on outline the raison d'etre of her books:
[Liberals] took prayer out of the schools and replaced it with metal detectors; they have taken self-responsibility out of society and replaced it with an entitlement mentality and lawyers; they have tried to erase the beauty of the traditional family and replace it with high divorce rates and out-of-wedlock births; they have attempted to crush the American Dream and replace it with Karl Marx.
No evidence necessary. It is so because...well...she says so. And to wingnuts like DeBrecht, it's about time children were made aware of these "truths".

In true bipartisan fashion, Jeremy Zilber has come up with a counter-offering of his own, entitled "Why Mommy is a Democrat".

In it, Zilber ensures that little kids understand

Democrats make sure everyone is treated fairly,just like Mommy does. Democrats make sure sick people are able to see a doctor,just like mommy does.
Democrats make sure everyone plays by the rules,just like Mommy does. Democrats make sure we all share our toys,just like Mommy does.
I'm not sure what the deal is with these people, but in my humble opinion, feeding young children this type of naked partisan political rhetoric represents a special type of perversion. Still, if your goal is to warp your child's mind at an early age, you could do worse.