Saturday, October 25, 2008

Flying Low: Another Miserable Week For McCain

Let's take a quick look at the McCain campaign's latest greatest hits, shall we?

Lipstick On A Pig: The RNC disclosed that it spent $150,000 of campaign money (donated by Joe The Idiots everywhere) to buy clothes for Sarah Palin and her family at Saks Fifth Avenue and Nieman Marcus. And the highest paid person in the entire McCain campaign? Amy Strozzi (Palin's make-up stylist) who was paid $22,000 for just 2 weeks work in October, more than McCain's own chief foreign policy advisor Randy Scheunemann.

Crazy Runs In The Family: John McCain's 66 year old baby brother Joe decided to call 911 to complain about traffic.

Operator: 911 state your emergency

McCain: It's not an emergency but do you know why on one side at the damn drawbridge of 95traffic is stopped for 15 minutes and yet traffic's coming the other way?

Operator: Sir, are you calling 911 to complain about traffic? (pause)

McCain: "(Expletive) you." (caller hangs up)

The 911 operator then called McCain back and left a message admonishing him for misusing the emergency service, after which he actually called 911 back to complain again!

The New "Face Of The Campaign":

By now, everyone is aware of the sad, sordid tale of self-mutilating wingnut Ashley Todd. Cruising around Pittsburgh, this dopey McCain campaign worker claimed to have been assaulted by a black Obama supporter who carved a (backwards) "B" into her face. The B, as it turns out, stands for Bullshit. After receiving sympathy calls from both John McCain and Sarah Palin, Todd admitted the whole story was made up. She is now behind bars herself. And, surprise, surprise...the McCain campaign may have been involved in pushing the whole hoax onto the media.

One wonders whether old man McCain even wants to win this thing anymore...

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Why Do French People Hate Quebecers?

Everyone's favourite Mr. Belvedere lookalike and corpulent xenophobe Jacques Parizeau is back in the news. Proving that he has his finger on the pulse of Canada's burning issues, he wonders why do French people hate Quebecers so much?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy a bowl of Liberty Onion Soup and a plate of Freedom Fries.