Meet Frank Hilliard. Bald. White. Blogging Tory. Self-described ladies' man:
I've worked for women, I've married women, I enjoy the company of women. OK, ladies, I'm your guy.
In fact Frank is such a friend to women, he shares his carefully considered views on women and security with the blogosphere, in a post entitled Women and Security, call a Man.
[Women] really favour anti-gun laws, including the current Firearms Act which prohibits the kinds of small calibre weapons women used to carry. Your plan is to call 911 and wait. For what? Well, for a man usually) to show up with a gun. Do you see anything wrong with this?Don't you feel a little embarrassed by leaving the protection of one man(your husband) and then calling for the protection of another (nice Mr. Policeman)? And to keep both you and him happy and free, you are quite prepared to call on American Men to protect you.
Well, Canadian ladies, are you suitably ashamed of yourselves? Your collective pansy-ass approach to security has let down your biggest advocate and heartthrob, Frank Hillier. How can you ever redeem yourselves in his eyes? What's this? Frank has the answer!!
So what should you do to change my opinion?
1. Join the National Firearms Association
2. Get your PAL
3. Write a letter to your MP asking him (or her) to help you get a Type III Authorization to Carry licence so you can carry your restricted weapon around with you.
It's hard to know where to even begin taking apart this vacuous, condescending, paternalistic claptrap. So I won't waste my time doing it. But Frank's 3 steps to changing his opinion is by far the most absurdly hilarious part of his post. Why anyone on earth should care to change the addlebrained opinion of this champion luddite is beyond me. But damn, is he ever smooove with the laydeeez....
Postscript: Just in case anyone cares, this was posted at about 8:40pm PST, a good 3 hrs before Canadian Cynic's civility challenge is due to begin (though I hardly think that 'luddite' qualifies as uncivil anyways).
Update: It seems Frank's unintentionally hilarious musings have also caught the attention of resurrected blogger and friend Red Tory. Click here to check out his dissection of Frank's thoughts on "liberalism" and "conservatism" (such as they may be).