Sunday, March 30, 2008

Frank Hilliard: Hey Laydeeez....


Meet Frank Hilliard. Bald. White. Blogging Tory. Self-described ladies' man:

I've worked for women, I've married women, I enjoy the company of women. OK, ladies, I'm your guy.

In fact Frank is such a friend to women, he shares his carefully considered views on women and security with the blogosphere, in a post entitled Women and Security, call a Man.

[Women] really favour anti-gun laws, including the current Firearms Act which prohibits the kinds of small calibre weapons women used to carry. Your plan is to call 911 and wait. For what? Well, for a man usually) to show up with a gun. Do you see anything wrong with this?Don't you feel a little embarrassed by leaving the protection of one man(your husband) and then calling for the protection of another (nice Mr. Policeman)? And to keep both you and him happy and free, you are quite prepared to call on American Men to protect you.
Well, Canadian ladies, are you suitably ashamed of yourselves? Your collective pansy-ass approach to security has let down your biggest advocate and heartthrob, Frank Hillier. How can you ever redeem yourselves in his eyes? What's this? Frank has the answer!!

So what should you do to change my opinion?
1. Join the
National Firearms Association
2. Get your
PAL
3. Write a letter to your
MP asking him (or her) to help you get a Type III Authorization to Carry licence so you can carry your restricted weapon around with you.

It's hard to know where to even begin taking apart this vacuous, condescending, paternalistic claptrap. So I won't waste my time doing it. But Frank's 3 steps to changing his opinion is by far the most absurdly hilarious part of his post. Why anyone on earth should care to change the addlebrained opinion of this champion luddite is beyond me. But damn, is he ever smooove with the laydeeez....

Postscript: Just in case anyone cares, this was posted at about 8:40pm PST, a good 3 hrs before Canadian Cynic's civility challenge is due to begin (though I hardly think that 'luddite' qualifies as uncivil anyways).
Update: It seems Frank's unintentionally hilarious musings have also caught the attention of resurrected blogger and friend Red Tory. Click here to check out his dissection of Frank's thoughts on "liberalism" and "conservatism" (such as they may be).

81 comments:

Bablyonian said...

Funny how you lump him in as white and then mention he is bald, giving his heritage some kind of negative connotation by doing so.

What do you have against white people? I am going to refrain from calling you a Liberal Racist, so I will give you the benefit of the doubt and hear your explanation.

Red Tory said...

Speaking as a "white person"... and allow me to qualify that as in being white AND Anglo-Saxon, and being able to trace my roots back to the 11th Century in the backwoods of Yorkshire... there's nothing wrong with taking swipes at "white people" in my estimation. I happen to find it quite amusing.

See, if you understand English culture and the class system at all, "white" scarcely begins to define you as a person. Your comment is therefore quite ridiculous.

Red Tory said...

RC — An odd coincidence indeed! I posted a little update at my place.

It's too bad that Frank has a tendency to self-destruct on a regular basis. Otherwise, for hilarious effect, I could have linked to one of his posts contending that Sharia Law was being introduced via the the packaging of New Zealand lamb products in grocery stores... Or his gut-bustingly insane defense of the "individual rights" of drunk drivers...

RuralSandi said...

What colour is he - white.
How much hair does he have - not much.

How else would you describe the man?

Not a very good picture - he looks kinda like a pervert.

Red Canuck said...

Babylonian - What I know about him, I've gleaned from his pic and his blog. From his pic - he's bald, and he's white. He's also old. From his blog, he's dimwitted and apparently living in the 18th century with respect to his views on women and their "security" needs.

He also describes himself as opposed to multiculturalism and "Islamism", so if you choose to see me as the racist for calling him bald and white, you are as big a moron as your comment would suggest.

Bablyonian said...

Fair enough, lets see you do it to a "bald black" in a similar context, assuming you have the testicle fortitude to do so.

Red Tory said...

Charles Barkley is a cue-ball, isn't he? But then, I love Sir Charles. Who doesn't? See, here's the difference... Frank may be white and bald, but it's really beside the point; which is that he's dumb as a bag of hammers. RC just used that descriptive stuff for comic effect, because it was so irresistibly laughable given the tragic reality contrasted to Frank's creepy assertion that "I'm your guy"...

So, if a dumb, bald black guy fires up a blog on "Teh Blogging Tories" and starts spouting all sorts of nonsensical bullshit, I'm confident that RC will be there in a heartbeat. I know I certainly will!

Red Canuck said...

RT - Thanks for your comments! It's been a busy day at work and I haven't had time to respond to the babylonian one in the way I would have liked. But your last comment summarized things quite nicely!

Babylonian - please see RT's last comment. If it makes you feel any better, I will state unequivocally that Dr. Roy is fat and Indian, and Kathy Shaidle is fat, white and Catholic. Irrespective of those attributes, both are nitwits. I am nothing if not egaliatarian when it comes to identifying the ignoramii amongst the Blogging Tories.

Red Canuck said...

Also, please don't ever mention my testicles again. It wierds me out.

MD said...

I just linked to Hilliard's blog and all can say is...wow. I never realized that Grand Forks, BC faces an "existential and physical threat from Islamic expansionism." And babylonian, the website provides clear evidence that he is bald, white, and either completely insane or very dim. Red Canuck hasn't said anything inappropriate (or untrue)that I can see.

Anonymous said...

Guns? Who needs guns? My cousin's a tae-kwon-do champ. When she was attacked by two guys, she beat the crap out of them.

As for the whole bald thing... bablyonian... why is it a negative connotation? What do you have against bald men?

- sharonapple88

Frank Hilliard said...

Geeze guys and gals, I had no idea being bald and white was such a no no. Anglo-Saxon? Actually I'm half German-Swiss, half English-Irish. And condescending to women? Worse than that, I try to challenge them to pick up their half of our social responsibilities.

Of course if that's a no no too, I guess I'm really lost up here in the mountains.

Nice day btw at the moment, bright sunshine and starting to warm up at last. Feel free to drop by anytime.

Red Canuck said...

Frank - I think a great many women nowadays would take offense to your suggestion that women want or need assistance from men to feel secure. Many women serve proudly in our police forces and Armed Forces, and as one of my commenters pointed out, many others are suitably capable of self-defense.

I'm not sure what your experience has been in this regard, but your post was a horrible over-generalization, and more than a touch anachronistic.

Also, I find it somewhat disturbing that you perceive our collective "social responsibility" to include joining the NFA and obtaining permission to carry a restricted firearm. I have done neither...so am I shirking my responsibility to this country? Surely not. Women no more need to do these things than anyone else.

The whole white bald thing was, as RT pointed out, totally irrelevant (I'm follicularly challenged myself) and for humorous effect only. Babylonian seemed to infer some kind of nefarious intent where none existed.

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