Some of you who have followed this humble blog since its inception may have known that I was lucky enough to have survived a run-in with cancer a few years ago. Although I won that little battle back then, it appears I have lost the war. Cancer is a rather merciless predator, and despite the best efforts of a wonderful group of colleagues, it has returned. This time, I am told, it is terminal.
It has been a wonderful trip, filled with joyous memories, painful tears, and the brilliant heartache that comes from a life of boundless experience. I have lived only 35 years, but I have lived them well. And so I have no regrets, but that I couldn't longer and better know the girl I love - my miss giraffe.
To friends and foes in this odd little "blog world", I wish you nothing but success and good health. And I remind you that, despite whatever small differences we might have, we are all sailors on this same raft.
Good night, and good luck.
UPDATE: Thank you so much to all who have written such kind words in the comments and on their blogs. It reaffirms my faith in humanity that such generosity of spirit can be found amongst people who have never even met each other. Your thoughts and prayers have touched me deeply and are much appreciated. I would be remiss if I did not give a special thank you to my colleagues and to the hematology/oncology staff who have worked tirelessly on my behalf. Finally, please drop by the Canadian Cancer Society webpage and donate if you can. Research today is the cure of tomorrow. And, even more importantly, please consider adding your name to the Bone Marrow Donor Registry...it costs nothing, and you could quite literally give someone the gift of life.
Keep Smiling!
Moving Day
12 years ago
62 comments:
Long time lurker.
I am so sorry to hear this news and will send good thoughts/prayers your way.
I'm so sorry to read this. I've enjoyed reading your blog and your comments over at Red Tory's. I wish you all the best.
Oh, RC, am so sorry. I wish I could give you some of my years. Thirty-five is far, far too young.
Best wishes to you, Red, so sad to hear this. Many out here are thinking of you.
RED CANUCK, I did not have the honour to read your blog in past but your current post drew my attention. I am sorry to hear about your health my friend. As you said we are all sailors on the same raft. My friend sometimes I find good ones leave too soon. My best wishes and prayer for you.
Oh RC. I'm so, so, sorry. I didn't actually know that you had been ill, so I'm shocked in addition to being incredibly sad.
Stay as well as you're able and spend your time with the girl you love.
I'll be thinking of you along with many others.
My sincere best wishes to you, RC.
I'm shaken and saddened too, RC.
You are so right that we are all on those little boats together. My best wishes and hopes and prayers for you tonight.
I'm so very sorry to hear this. All my best wishes to you.
Red, I'm so terribly sorry to hear about your situation. You and your partner are in my thoughts. Take care of yourself.
I'm so sorry to hear this news.
All the best to you, RC.
The good work that you have done in the world and the love that you have found will live forever.
Kay so sad... bring tears. Can feel the strength too though. It's good to be loved. Thoughts are with you.
I'm so sorry, RC. My warmest best wishes to you.
You and your miss giraffe are in my thoughts.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us these fast few years.
I am reminded that . . . .
"It’s not what you take when you leave this world behind you; it’s what you leave behind you when you go."
Travis, Randy
I lost my life partner a number of years ago and, although I miss him terribly, I am eternally grateful for our time together and, the richness of life and love he left me with.
Cancer finally took my mom in 2005 and after she died I was, obviously, upset then one of my more profane friends said something to me and it at least made me ... well feel something else. He said:
Fuck cancer. Fuck it right in the soul.
Best of luck to you RC, fight the son of a bitch for as long as you are willing...
Peace be with you.
We will miss you, but nowhere near as much as those with whom you have shared your life.
Thank you for bringing something good to the world.
And thank you for your strength.
RC, man oh man, so sorry to hear this.
Many thanks for having given us your time, blogging and commentary. It has been much appreciated.
You and your partner will be in my thoughts.
I remember watching a video of Dr. Barry Smith, when his health was declining, telling a group of medical students that we live on through the people whose lives we have touched. I never really understood the meaning of those words until now.
We've known each other since the beginning, and as far as I have seen, every life you have touched has been made better for the experience. Mine more than I can describe. I just wanted to say Thank You.
You've always made me either think or laugh.
I hope the next while is as good as it can be for you.
very sorry to hear this rc. thank you for your shared words, wit and wisdom. if i was one for prayers you'd be in mine.
I read your blog this morning and it took my breath away.
My heart is with you and your loved ones.
I can't even begin to express how very sad and angry I am for you and yours, RC.
May you find nothing but peace in the days ahead.
I say this all the time,...
Ain't none of us getting out of here alive, we are all circling the drain.
For you Red, and the rest of us, today is the first day of the rest of life. The past is fixed and tomorrow is beyond your reach, today is all that matters.
May each day you have be a great one!
Zorph
I'm very sorry to hear this RC. I have comment with you at Red Tory's and I'm going to miss it.
For get about the blogs...go out and enjoy your time in the real world.
Don't stop fighting, but don't stop living either.
I’m just crushed to hear this news. I don’t know to say… I suppose screaming some profanity over and over again and then shaking my fist at the heavens above doesn’t do any good, but that’s the way I feel. This is soooo not right or fair.
I’m really going to miss you a lot, RC. You’ve been a good friend to me in this kooky online world. I’ve enjoyed your blog immensely for an always dependable laugh and occasional insight; and of course the thoughtful, witty and often hilarious comments you’ve made at my place over time.
I hope your remaining time is put to the absolute best use possible and that you can find ways to derive some enjoyment and fulfillment of whatever kind in the midst of what must be terrible experience. I’m not a religious person, as you know, but to heck with that, I’ll be praying for you anyway — both for your present state of being and whatever continuance might possibly exist in the hereafter. In any case, you’ll always be fondly remembered.
Take care and best wishes for all the events still to come.
RC, thanks very much for the time you've spent with us and everything you've given us.
I'm so very sorry sir to have learned this terrible news this morning. My sincere best wishes to you and yours in this terrible ordeal. Again I'm so sorry!
I'm truly sorry to hear about this, Red. Know that you have left your mark; and also that miracle remissions are not unknown. Hang in there are try to keep your spirits up. You have a lot of folks pulling for you.
You have my condolences, cancer is a terrible thing.
If it's any consolation, know that you won't be forgotten.
On July 18, 1999 our family practitioner took a call from a CAT Scan technician. She and my wife had a 10-minute pow-wow, then they called me in. Dyane turns to me and says, "I have several weeks to live." My life has not been the same since.
Words are stupid, false empathy even more so. It is good to know that you are the one who knows he has lived a good life. No one can take that from you.
God bless.
I am overwhelmed by your news RC. My thoughts are with you and your loved ones.
I have lurked on your site and appreciated your insights here and elsewhere in this blogging community. I admire the dignity with which you are handling such a tragic turn of events. I hope you can squeeze every last pleasure that life affords us in the days to come.
The courage you have shown and continue to show has been inspirational. I'm still reeling a bit - but I will be in touch, my old friend.
You've had an impact on all of our lives, as you can see from the comments left here. Stay strong, I hope you beat this illness. But if not, I wish you and your family peace.
Too many good people leave this world far too soon. You will see from the comments here just how much you will be missed...and I am yet another who will have a heartfelt gap in my daily journeys through cyber-comment.
Good night and good luck...
GY
Dante and I would like to offer our sympathies at this news and our best wishes for you and your family, for whatever that is worth. We will keep you in our prayers - All the best, God bless.
Now, I am not a bleeding heart (Liberal or otherwise), but your story, Red Canuck, is the very thing that can reduce me to a torrent of tears.
You’ll be in everyone’s thoughts and prayers.
All those who regularly take cheap shots at bloggers who happen to have a different view of the world or pursue a contrarian ideology should remember this: in the end, we’re all just human beings, as ephemeral as the day’s news we tend to get into arguments over.
Life, unfortunately, is a finite resource, and there's only so much anyone of us can do. I too believe in quality, rather than quantity, so if you've lived and enjoyed your 35 years on Earth, then it's already more than so many others achieve over a lifetime of 80 or 100 years.
I don't know if you're a believer or atheist, Red Canuck, but I'll say a prayer for you. I was brought up on Christian values, as a Roman Catholic, but while I maintain my Christian values, I haven't been a practising churchgoer in ages.
Without going into any details now, I have witnessed and experienced things in my life that have confirmed my belief that this existence here is just one phase before we move on to another. I doubt that it's anything like the various holy books of different religions describe it, but I'm sure that life doesn't end in the here and now.
Take care, fellow blogger and human being.
Whose side in heaven will YOU be on?
Omar Khadr's? or President George Walker Bush's?
"Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."
You are a good man.
I am so so so sorry to read about this. Oh RC, I know you have connections as a Doc and know all the ways to fight cancer, but you just know I am itching to consult Dr.Google on your behalf and try to save you hon.
And yet, I can't and no one can, and this is when I just don't know how to give up.
I want you to know that I will continue to bug the government about making a publicly funded bone marrow registry, and about ensuring that as many people as possible are signed up for it. I already was doing it, but for you, I promise I will redouble my efforts.
So if you are saying it's terminal, then it must be, so I'm going to pray that you have some good palliative care and some awesomely good fucking drugs as you go down.
And for your family and friends---please let them know that there are a lot of places online and in real life for grieving family members. My online support groups have saved me more times than I can count.
If you ever want to keep posting here before you go or if anyone wants to update it for you, I'll be reading, and thinking of you.
Good night my friend.
Have to admit, I’m not a regular reader of yours either, but what a generous, selfless post this is on your part. Like psa, this would be a time I’d pray, if I believed in prayer. I hope it turns around for you.
Just stopping by to point out that you're still being thought about in the blogosphere at the least.
As Saskboy says
You continue to be in my thoughts.
Hi
You don't have permission to say good night until you have said goodbye to family. I'm a zillion miles away in Oz but have been deeply troubled since I was told. I called home but it was 5am there and I didn't know what to say. I'm ashamed to say that I broke down. I haven't seen you in ages and I wish I could meet you and talk to you. I want to remember the good times when u visited - your humour,amazing sketches, especially the aeroplanes. My friend my brother you have fought valiantly and I sincerely hope the docs are wrong.I can't say much more than that I will always cherish all the times we spent together and that I will continue to pray for a miracle
Love always
G
You have been on my mind everyday since I heard about its return. Everyday.
And in my prayers, as I wrote you.
With love, always and so much affection
G
I love You!
Just stopping by to let you know you aren't forgotten. I miss you & your posts. And am praying, still, for you.
It's been more than 2 months since your last post -- I just wanted you to know that you're very much in my thoughts.
For some moments in life there are no words.
~David Seltzer~
What LuLu said. Best to you.
I still think of this blog post. I hope you're making it through.
Thoughts of you and yours.
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I'm sorry. praying for you. Heaven will make you sleep
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"Yoochun ah .... let all sink in oblivion .... even my love "and then he jumped off the cliff. From that abyss that is known by the name Oblis-abyss of forgetfulness.
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ETERNAL LIFE
Your strength is so inspiring!
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This post is very inspiring and it makes me cry!
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