Friday, October 3, 2008

Jeepers Joe-6-Pack, She's A Hockey Mom Doggonit!

Judging from the amount of right-wing self-fellating going on today, I have to conclude the following about what Republicans want in a VP.

A VP should:
  • Wink a lot
  • Enunciate poorly
  • Use empty catch phrases and blue collar jingo in every sentence
  • Use quotes out of context
  • Be able to recite talking points, while demonstrating little to no understanding of issues
  • Lapse into incoherency from time to time
But don't take it from me. Let's hear it straight from Winky Mainstreet:
"That is not so, but because that's just a quick answer, I want to talk about, again, my record on energy versus your ticket's energy ticket, also."
Well said, also.
"One thing that Americans do at this time, also, though, is let's commit ourselves just every day American people, Joe Six Pack, hockey moms across the nation, I think we need to band together and say never again. Never will we be exploited and taken advantage of again by those who are managing our money and loaning us these dollars."
Yes! Damn you, people lending us these...dollars. Doggone it, what'chya need is a team of mavericks who, with, reformin' and also rejiggimifyin' the whole White House thingy. Also! *wink*


Saskboy said...

Just when we thought Bush was as low as they'd go... they found a new level. Human ability never ceases to amaze me.

RuralSandi said...

Gun, religion and babies, hot dang.

Why do they assume that all hockey moms talk like that?

I know some hockey is a family lawyer, one is a pathologist, one owns her own successful business and another is an artist....they sure as hell don't talk like that.

MD said...

She's becoming more honest about her complete disinterest in answering questions. I loved the part where she said "I may not be answering the question you and the moderator want me to, but..."(insert Republican talking point here).

Can winking at the camera and using the word "golly" during a national debate actually win votes? My guess would be yes.

Bowler said...

What about her nuanced, well developed view on the Middle East? "I know who the good guys and the bad guys are." Coupled with her "End Times" religious views, that's some pretty scary shit there.

Red Canuck said...

Saskboy - When it comes to lowball political tactics by irretrievably stupid people, I suspect the Republican well is quite deep.

Red Canuck said...

Ruralsandi - She is a blithering idiot who just happens to be a hockey mom as well. If you ask me, she's an insult to hockey moms everywhere.

Red Canuck said...

MD - Can winking at the camera and using the word "golly" during a national debate actually win votes? My guess would be yes.

Thankfully, it looks like the answer is 'no'. Most tracking polls have not registered any movement towards the McOld/Failin ticket. In fact Obama seems to be widening his lead in previous battleground states (eg Ohio and PA), an he is even threatening to turn previous red states into battleground states. McCain has all but pulled out of Michigan.

Red Canuck said...

Bowler - Her good guy/bad guy world view is straight out of the NeoCon workshop. It absolves her of any responsibility to think, in favour of simply memorizing a list of "Axis of Evil" countries and threatening to bomb them.

Bowler said...

Obama has to hold all the states Kerry did in '04, especially Pennsylvania, and move either Ohio or Florida into the blue camp. If he does that, he'll win. I'll faint if Obama actually wins in Nevada or Virginia, but its great that he's forcing McCain to spend resources fighting in states like that, instead of Michigan.

Red Tory said...

Great pic!!!

"Winky Mainstreat"... LOL.

I have to agree with Saskboy that it never ceases to amaze at how low they can go.

Truly, the Idiot Nation.

Red Canuck said...

Bowler - He's ahead in PA by 8-15 points, depending which poll you believe. He's also got roughly a 5 point lead in OH, and FLA is pretty much a dead heat. So I have to think that things are looking promising. And you're quite right that it can only be a good thing if McCain is forced to pull of big states like MI, in order to spend more cash in states that were previously solidly red. There is a month to go, however, and anything can happen...

Red Canuck said...

RT - Great to see you back in action!

That's the Palin pic I'm going to use from now on...I think it perfectly encapsulates everything about her.

And yes, the GOP has almost cornered the market on playing to the lowest common denominator.